Page 119 of Claimed By Blood

Damn it, I’ve got to stay strong. Even if emotionally vulnerable alpha is my kryptonite.

I demanded a break because I thought it would give me a reset. Allow us to start completely from scratch.

“I’ll always love you, even if sex is taken off the table completely.” He meets my gaze boldly. “I can live with that. If anything, I’d trust myself more…”

“I don’t want that,” I interrupt, then grimace. “Iwantsex, Gid. You’ve given me some of the best fucks of my life. I just can’t take the shit that comes after. I want to wait until you’ve sorted your shit. You’re not your father. I’m not your mother or Isla—thank fuck. That baggage shouldn’t be in the bed with us, and I deserve better than that.”

Should it feel so terrifying to say that? Am I being too mean? I’ve wondered the same thing over and over again. But it all comes down to this.

Gideon has been using me to perpetuate his own self-destructive tendencies since we first got together. As long as we continue to have sex, he’ll continue to see himself as the bad guy afterwards, and he’ll continue to put me into the box of poor, helpless omega at the mercy of my own urges.

Ugh! This is a mess. I thought this break would make things easier. That he’d go away, do the work to fix himself, then come back and we could just start again. Like we were strangers.

Maybe that was short-sighted.

We have decades of history. It was stupid to assume we could just gloss over it.

“I need help,” he admits, rather than snapping at me for mentioning Isla like I half-expect him to. “I need to work on being a better alpha. A stronger one. I need to show you and the pack how much I care. And I will. But I’m never going to manage it without you. This distance is driving me insane, and my instinct is insisting you’re about to kick me from the pack—”

“Never!” I stare at him, horrified. “I wouldn’t!”

Has he been worried aboutthat,of all things?

“Logically I know that, but you know how it is…”

I do.

Lycans tend to see the world through the lens of instinct rather than logic—especially when it comes to the people we care about.

“I need you. Evelyn… isn’t you. Whatever is between her and me is different. I barely know her—though I hope maybe that will change. She’s buying us time to work things out, but she can’t fix our relationship for us.”

That… wasn’t why I accepted her offer, was it?

Okay, so maybe I felt relieved when she offered, but that was because she was my out. Not because I expected her to…

“I’ll fix it,” he vows. “But I can’t do that if you avoid me. I can barely focus as it is… and I’ll probably pounce on her when she returns, and even then I’ll be overthinking it, wondering if that will only drive us further apart.”

I stumble to my feet and press my hand over his lips.

“I want her with you. She belongs with all of us.” Why am I fixated on the way his flat, hard lips feel against my palm? “I’ve thought that since the beginning.Neverthink I don’t want you two to be together. I didn’t realise I was making you doubt your place in the pack… I just thought maybe after a break, everything would be clearer. I was wrong. I’ve only been more confused.”

He frowns at me and I grimace as I realise I’m probably giving him a bunch of mixed signals.

“I still want the plan,” I backtrack. “No sex. But waiting for a month and then pretending everything never happened was never going to work—I get that now.”

He moves my hand gently. “Spell it out for me, omega.” He keeps his tone low, not using any of that alpha bark that could so easily force me into compliance. “Exactly what you want. Your terms. Whatever it is, I’ll do it.”

I take a deep, shuddering breath. “A non-sexual, romantic relationship where we enjoy one another’s company. When I feel okay with that, we can move forward, if you still want to.”

Gideon nods sharply. “I’ll want to. But I want to ask Evelyn to be there, as a moderating force, to help stop any misunderstandings. Our thrall bonds will give her an advantage.”

It’s a good idea, and I grin, because sharing him with Evie sounds like it will be just as much fun as sharing her with Silas.

“Yes. But only when we’re both comfortable. And… I think you should talk to someone. There are professionals in the resistance, and some of them specialise in dealing with lycans, and they work long distance—”

“Done.”

Did he just… agree to therapy?I blink in disbelief as my heart thuds to a stop in my chest before restarting.

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