Chapter Twenty-Two
When Liam opened his eyes again, he realized he hadn’t disappeared, that the world hadn’t yet swallowed him up. “What? Why?” When he spoke, his voice sounded strangled, and it was a foreign sound to him.
“She did not say. I am just as surprised as you are, Liam. We thought,” Charlotte glanced at Julia, “we both thought that you might make an offer to her.”
Liam felt that strong headache returning even though he had only had one pint that evening. It was a headache borne of overwhelming pain and confusion. Rubbing his face with his hands, he paced away from the two women. Finally, he burst out, “Bloody Hell, I was going tae! That was what I wanted tae do this evening. But it appears that someone has gotten there before me!”
He could hear the way his angry voice echoed off the Fort’s walls, but he didn’t care. Julia said quietly, “Liam, she told us that John had asked her a day or so ago, and she told him that she needed time to think about it. Liam, she was waiting for you.”
“And I have ruined it with my stupidity, and with Brea’s constant meddling!”
“What are you talking about?”
Liam kept pacing, but he lowered his voice. “I was set to meet her in the woods. I received a letter from her telling me to meet her at six in the trees next tae the Fort. When I arrived, Brea was there. Ye ken her already. The woman…”
“At the house of ill-repute, yes we know,” Charlotte said, waving her hand in the air to show its insignificance.
“Aye. She came and told me that she sent the letter. That she had intended to meet with me in order tae give me some news.”
Charlotte and Julia waited patiently for him to continue. “She told me that John and Elizabeth were seen kissing in the woods the other day and that Elizabeth did not push him away. She told me that Elizabeth was lost to me.”
Charlotte and Julia glanced at each other, and Liam’s stomach twisted into knots. “God, ye knew? Ye knew about the kiss? Why did ye say naething? Ye could tell how I felt about the lass.”
Charlotte said in a low voice, “It was nothing to her, Liam. It was you she wanted. That kiss with John only solidified that fact.” Liam looked to Julia for confirmation, and she nodded as well. He stared out to the Sound, watching as the moonlight lit up the crests of the small waves coming to shore. Their constant rhythm was a mesmerizing sight, and it took him away for a moment, away from the pain of reality.
When he returned to the present, his voice was soft. With his back turned, he told them, “Brea kissed me then in the woods. Elizabeth saw it.”
Charlotte gasped. “So that must be why she so hastily agreed to marry John.”
Liam’s rage built again, and his powerlessness was overwhelming him. He had to do something. He stomped past the women and into the Fort, even though they tried to call him back. His purpose was clear. Kill John Campbell, or at least maim him so that he would feel the same pain that was flooding Liam’s heart at that moment. He rushed inside, ignoring the light sound of music and merry-making, and he spotted John on the far side of the hall, in conversation with a few men, laughing.
He is bloody well pleased with himself, is he nae?
Liam felt like the hall of the Fort had turned into a dark tunnel, and all he could see at the end was John’s smiling face. Time slowed as he walked towards the man, his fists itching to take out his rage on something or someone. John was the perfect candidate.
As John turned his eyes to Liam’s approach, Liam tightened his fist and swung hard into the other man’s face, savoring the feel of his knuckles on bone. In a fit of surprise and pain, John fell to the ground in a heap. The man standing next to John pulled out his sword, and Liam laid his hand on his own.
John leaned up on an elbow and yelled, “Dinnae, Finlay! Leave it.” A silence had fallen over the crowd as they all watched the scene before them. Fergus had rushed to Liam’s side, but Liam stayed him with his hand.
John dabbed at his bloody nose. “What is it, lad? Ye wish tae take yer revenge for my success?”
“Ye are a thief. She doesnae want ye, Campbell.”
John laughed. “If she doesnae, then why have I been made the happiest man in the world? ‘Tis ye she doesnae want. Ye could never commit tae anyone, and ye have naething tae offer her.”
Liam wanted to punch him again, to pummel the man’s face into the ground until it became part of the flagstones, but his anger was only compounded by the fact that he feared John Campbell was right. Deep down, he had always known that he was not good enough for Elizabeth, but he had hoped that love could overcome that. That they could make a life together regardless that he had barely anything to offer her.
With another scowl in John’s direction, his breath heaving, Liam left the room, pushing through the ogling crowd, past Angus’ surprised face and Charlotte and Julia. He would go across the Sound. He would take a boat and leave and resolve to forget that any of it had ever happened.
* * *
Elizabeth found that she rather enjoyed traveling in darkness. The shroud of the night air was a comfort to her, as it matched the dark mood of her heart. After the heat of the moment of finding out about Liam and her father and engaging herself to John, her emotions had calmed. She was still left with a dull ache from the top of her head to the base of her belly. It made her feel heavy and limp, and she was glad that the ride to her father would still take a few hours. Somehow, in those few hours, she would remake herself.
She had promised herself to a man she did not love. What of it? Many women before her had done it, and so would many after. It was the way of the world, her father would say, and she hoped that he would be happy enough that her new husband was a laird, and in charge of the most powerful clan in Scotland and mostly sympathetic to English causes. It would be enough.
As for John, she could help him create the link between England and Scotland, and thus would be a useful wife to him. Usefulness was something. If there was not to be the deep abiding passion between them that made one change the course of their life, then at least there would be kindness, usefulness, and affection of sorts.
She knew that John loved her, and she thought that perhaps that would be enough. She toyed with her mother’s ring on her finger. Soon there would be another ring on her hand to solidify her connection to John forever. She was to be a wife. Even though she felt the import of the words, and repeating them in her head kept peeling back layer after layer of them, making them seem more real, she still couldn’t believe it.