Page 43 of Chosen Road

“Can I sit with you?” she asked softly.

Truthfully, there was nothing I wanted more. “Yeah. I’d like that.”

The leaves on the trees reflected the muted reds and golds of fall, and the air had a nip to it. I’d have to put my flip-flops away soon.

Ruby’s gaze weighed heavy on me. “Koukla mou,” she whispered, bumping me lightly with her shoulder.

I stared off into space, wondering if I could simply swallow what happened. “Do you think people should stay together for their kids?”

She looked down. We both knew the answer to that. “No, Amber. I don’t think so.”

I sat still and quiet for a moment, then gently bumped her back, before getting up and going back into the house without another word. The truth was, I wouldn’t only be doing it for Alex, but I wasn’t ready to admit that.

Sitting at the table with my family, which now included Vander, did not offer me the familiar comfort it used to. It was all too obvious who was missing from the table.

Yiayia asked to meet Vander’s older son, George, and we managed a quick FaceTime. It was amazing how much Vander’s sons looked like him. George was just as charming as his father and his brother, and his cousin? I wondered how Alex would fit into the new dynamic and my heart hurt anew for the changes in his life. He did not deal well with change.

“Thio Vander, can we go rock climbing again?” Alex asked.

Vander answered immediately, “Yeah, absolutely. We can go this Saturday if you want. What do you think, Jace?”

“Yeah, uh… yeah, I’d like to go.”

“Is that okay, Ruby? Amber?”

“Yup,” Ruby replied, nodding. “I have to work again because I traded a day with my part-timer.”

“Gus usually spends Saturday with Alex,” I answered, feeling protective of Gus’s time with Alex.

“If he’s available…” Alex grumbled, and I felt the fire hit my cheeks. Gus didn’t deserve that.

“He had business, agapi mou. That’s all. Your dad loves you and wants to spend time with you.”

“What about you?” he asked, shocking me.

I sat back in my chair, hard. “Of course, I love you!” Were things so bad that he wasn’t even sure he was loved?

You’re just like me.

“No,” Alex replied, waving his hand as if to erase my words. “I meant does he love you? Does he still love you?”

The hits kept coming. I swallowed around the lump in my throat. “Yes, agapi mou. He does.”

“Do you love him?” Alex whispered with his heart in his eyes.

I couldn’t stop the tears. This crying business was beginning to become a habit. “Yes, agapi mou. I do.”

“Then, why?” He asked, exasperated.

“It’s complicated.” Finally, I held up my hands to hold off the words about to leave his lips. “I’ll spend some time with your dad and figure it out. I promise I’ll talk to him, and we’ll make some changes. I’ll ask him to come to dinner next Sunday, and I’ll make sure he can be here for Thanksgiving the following week. Okay?”

Even as the words left my lips, the panic set in. If only I could determine where the panic was coming from I might be able to deal with it, but any theory I came up with simply didn’t ring true.

Alex opened his mouth to reply but Vander cut in. “How about we ask your dad to bring you to meet Jace and me for rock climbing? You can show him what you can do, and we can go out for lunch afterwards. What do you think?”

Alex’s face lit up and I sucked in a calming breath. “Can I, Mom?”

“That’s between you and your dad, agapi mou. Whatever Daddy decides is fine with me.”

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