Page 15 of Chosen Road

I met them in the kitchen. Alex bounced on the balls of his feet. Why walk when you can run or bounce? Amber glanced at me but didn’t say anything which pissed me off so I hit on the only thing I could.

“What about me? Were you going to talk to me about it? Or do Ruby and Yiayia take my place now?”

Her head snapped around and I met her wide gaze. “I’m sorry?” She blurted, looking like a deer caught in the headlights.

I twisted my lips to the side. I couldn’t see her upset, but my frustration was mounting to an intolerable level. I turned my back to collect myself.

“Forget it,” I muttered, walking away. I escaped to the basement where I could breathe. Every hour with Amber was an exercise in repression and self-control. I counted the minutes until I could see her beautiful face, then I counted the minutes until I could escape. There was not a minute in the day anymore when I wasn’t counting.

I prepared myself to go back upstairs.

I had dinner ready, all I had to do was serve it up.

Sit at the table.

Allow Alex to carry the conversation.

Pretend I didn’t notice how my wife avoided looking at me.

Play with Alex.

Go to bed by myself.

Get up and do it all again tomorrow.

I hung my head as I deep breathed through my anger and blinked back my frustration. My chest tightened with anxiety.

I could not continue to live like this.

Chapter 6: Plans and Progress

Gus

What’s beeping?

Something of Alex’s is beeping.

I tried to speak but couldn’t get my mouth to cooperate.

So tired.

Honey, I’m coming.

Amber

The incessant beeping was slowly driving me up the wall.

Gus lay like a marble statue beneath the hospital blankets, colorless and cool to the touch. I slipped my hand beneath the sheet. His feet were cold again.

I trucked down to the nurse’s station. The blond bimbo was the only one sitting behind the desk. Did she irritate me because she looked like Jacqueline, or was my bitch radar going off?

She glanced up when I stopped in front of her. She looked as thrilled to see me as I was to see her.

“When you have a moment, can I please get a warmed blanket for my husband?”

She raised her eyebrows. “Again?”

Already half-turned to go back to Gus, I spun back around slowly to face her, rolling my shoulders back. “Yes. Again. And again, and again and again, until he’s warm.”

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