Page 13 of Chosen Road

It had been at least a year since she’d given herself over into my hands the way she used to.

I was sure it had something to do with her job. It was too much stress, maybe too triggering for her with her history, a history she never spoke about, but it must have affected her.

Yet, because she never told me, I couldn’t know for sure what prompted her withdrawal. I longed for those long-ago days. I missed my wife. Seemed like I missed her the most even as she slept beside me.

I looked at my watch.

Amber should be heading out to pick up Alex soon.

Thankfully, I didn’t have to go back to the office today. I headed home to make dinner.

And then stumble through the rest of our nightly routine.

Chapter 5: Counting the Minutes

Amber

I tucked my car keys into my purse and pulled myself out of the car. Looking up at the house, I immediately saw Yiayia’s concerned face peering at me from the kitchen window. I smiled and waved.

It was always with mixed feelings that I approached this old house. Good memories permeated the walls. Family visits to Yiayia and Pappou when my dad was still alive. Ruby and I becoming best friends in the years after Mom left, Yiayia teaching us how to cook, and Pappou heralding us with stories from Spuds. A lot of laughter echoed through time in this house. I even got married from this house. That day still ranked as the happiest day of my life.

But the pallor of grief also hung from its rafters, leeching the color from my world. I grieved my father when my mother moved us into this house after his death. My mother left me in this house. I lost my Pappou in this house.

Yiayia met me at the door. One look at her told me she didn’t buy my smile, but I hoped she wouldn’t say anything today. I had enough trouble fighting with Gus, I didn’t want to fight with her, too.

“Ela, poulaki mou, come inside. You look tired.” She fussed around me, herding me into the kitchen.

“Hi, Yiayia mou. Ti kaneis?”

“Kala, kala. Sit down and have some rest, koritzaki mou. You want to eat? A tea?”

“I’ll take a juice, Yiayia. How are the boys?” Alex and Jace usually landed at Yiayia’s after school until Ruby, me, or Gus could take over.

“Good boys, koritzi mou. Yiayia is very proud.”

She set a glass of cranberry juice on the table in front of me and sat herself down. Waves of worry rolled off of her.

I pulled in a deep breath.

“Why you unhappy, psychi mou? You have everything! You have good man, beautiful boy, your health, but something is eating you. What it is?”

I chose the most obvious response. “There are so many kids that need help, Yiayia, and I can’t seem to get them what they need.”

I worked with state wards, usually the ones who had been tossed from one foster home to another, those who suffered from trauma, those deemed unreachable to the point that we all just seemed to be going through the motions.

She patted my cheek with her soft, wrinkled hand. “You do God’s work, poulaki. You need to look after your little corner of the world, too. You have Alex to look after. Don’t make yourself tired.”

The blood drained from my face.

You’re just like me.

The thought that I chased my work at his expense caused my heart rate to accelerate. “You don’t think I look after Alex?” I challenged.

“You do look after Alex, but it costs you. Ouk an labeis para tou mh exontos. You can’t give what you don’t have. And what about Gus, poulaki? He seem sad to me.”

Like gas to a flame, my anger reared. “Gus is a grown man. He can look after himself,” I snapped.

Yiayia looked saddened at my response, but she smiled at me. “None of us are so grown we don’t need each other, poulaki.”

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