Page 106 of Chosen Road

Even in cases where the foster parents cared, they were often stretched thin with three or more children, each with issues that legitimately demanded full-time attention. They could not hope to keep up, but at a minimum, they could provide a safer place to lay their heads.

In many cases, that’s all they were equipped to offer. You needed a degree in psychology to navigate some of these issues without waking the not-so-sleeping tigers. “Maybe you could share with them directly. I’ll leave it with you to decide.”

She stood abruptly. “I’m going to head out.”

“Sure,” I answered, startled by her sudden movement.

I turned towards me desk, giving her privacy to leave and take what she needed. “I enjoyed talking with you, Mallory. Have a good week.”

I felt her pause at the door.

“Amber?”

I looked up, a ready smile on my face. “Yes?”

She dipped her chin, then met my eyes defiantly. “Thank you.”

I fought my grin from spreading as she ducked away from the door. “You’re welcome, honey,” I answered, but she wasn’t there to hear me.

I spun in my chair, my hand over my mouth.

She was making progress.

Gus

I lay watching her long after she fell asleep.

After Alex went to bed, and we slipped between the coolness of the sheets, Amber spoke at length about her young client. She outlined the parallels she saw between her and her client, and the progress the young woman was making. She spoke with pride, and hope, and wonder.

“She’s strong, you know? All these kids, they find ways to cope. The human mind is amazing in what it will do to ensure the body’s survival.” She turned towards her thoughts. “She has so very far to go.” She looked up at me. “She doesn’t have a Yiayia or a Ruby or a Gus. She only has me, and that’s only for an hour a week. She really only has herself and whatever coping skills she picks up.” She smiled. “She did well today.” She scrunched her shoulders up to her ears and smiled happily.

I laughed and pulled her over me, spread her thighs around my hips, and spent the next thirty minutes eradicating every thought from her head. She fell asleep quickly.

I pondered the state of our marriage before she left.

She was locked up tight, but at night she would unwittingly unfold.

She clung to her side of the bed, feigning sleep. She sought distance, her assurance to herself that she needed nobody and could make it on her own.

A perverse kind of pride rose in my heart. She had made it on her own for the past year. Not that it wasn’t difficult, but going it alone is difficult for everybody. In her case, her strength is tested not by her independence, but by her willingness to rely on others.

When something upset the fine balance of her world, her sleep told that story as well. Sprawled across my chest, she pinned me to the mattress like a butterfly to a board. Her head on one side, her little hand over my heart. If she was really in a state, she lay her ear over my heartbeat.

Many were the times she drifted off to sleep hanging off the cliff on her side of the bed, only to gravitate to me when I fell asleep. I hated that. Not that she needed my nearness, but that she fought the need. When I thought back to her tears in the middle of the night, it gutted me.

Lately, we fell asleep face-to-face, our knees gently braced together, her small hands folded between my large ones as if in a prayer of thanksgiving for all that we had been given.

I stared at her beautiful face for a moment more, then fell asleep myself, her hands cradled in mine.

Chapter 35: Moving Date

Gus

George’s stepdad called Vander Sunday night with a disturbing update, and Vander flew out Monday afternoon. Ruby was surprisingly solid with the abrupt change in plans, but Jace struggled. He didn’t know all the details, but he knew enough to understand that George was in a bad place. His usually calm, easy-going, manner frayed under the weight of his worry.

Amber and Alex spent Monday and Tuesday evening with Ruby and Jace, keeping them company and working out final preparations for the upcoming wedding. We planned for Alex to sleep over Wednesday and Thursday. Vander’s flight came in Friday morning, and he’d be there to pick Jace up from school.

Which worked out for us because Wednesday was moving home day. We didn’t want to bring Alex with us, not wanting him to reflect too heavily on the pain of moving there in the first place. In the end we gave him the option, and he opted out without a second thought.

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