“Lots of reasons. I switched off. I didn't think you'd believe me over Lily, and that the truth I’ve told you is as bad.I wanted to keep the memories of the Sky who looked at me as if I was special, and not have my last memories of you hating me. Instead, I switched off and ran. I was out of the country and I could pretend you didn’t exist.” I wince and Dylan curls his fingers around my hand. “I couldn’t though; you were with me every day.”
“You denied me the chance to make up my own mind,” I say, “If anything that upsets me the most.”
“More than what I told you?”
“Yes,” I say truthfully and put my hand over his.
The thread that joined our lives, that tangled us together when we crossed paths, thinned with the distance between us, but never broke. I half-understand why he couldn’t tell me, but this was years ago. If he can’t let go of his past, and allows himself to be dragged down by the man he no longer is, he’s lost. We were both stuck the day we met, both needing to grow up and move on. He needs to leave Blue Phoenix and I need to leave Bristol. My inner struggle matches his—the need to let go of everything I know
We head back towards the car, too cold for a walk around town. Despite the conversation, the awkwardness hasn’t left. The Dylan Effect is no less prevalent than it was, and when he slips his hand in mine, I shift so I’m closer to him as we walk.
Dylan and Sky can start again, but we need to make a lot more changes yet.