Page 64 of Once a Month

“She sounds awful,” I say.

“She is,” she says. “I wish it was her,” she adds.

“Wish what was–”

“I wish the cancer had taken her. My aunt was a good person; she didn’t deserve this.”

“No, she didn’t.”

“She beat it once, but it came back worse. I gave up my apartment and moved back into her house. There was no one else to take care of her. My mom sure wasn’t going to offer to move here to do it. I have a job – I mean, I don’t just do this. She couldn’t work anymore, though, and the bills started to pile up.”

“That’s why you started doing this,” I say.

“My friends tried to just give me the money. They’re loaded. I said no, and they tried to loan it to me, but I know I’d never be able to pay it back. She’s my aunt. It’s my responsibility.”

“Pride is a dangerous thing,” I say, hoping I’m not crossing the line.

“I’m here, though,” she says. “I thought I’d do this a few times just to get to a point where I could take care of the existing debt, and I’d quit. But… I don’t know. I wasn’t expecting to actually want to come here.”

I smile a little and kiss her shoulder again as I move my hands over her stomach.

“Want to come here, huh?” I tease.

“Yes,” she says. “It’s crazy. I know how this is supposed to work. I’m supposed to show up, someone picks me out of a group of escorts, and we just have sex. My sole purpose is to give someone pleasure at these things until they’re done with me or the party is over. That is not at all what I thought I’d be doing with my life. Then, I saw you, and we’ve…”

“Connected?” I ask.

“Yes,” she says and laughs as little. “I love connecting with you.”

I laugh as well and say, “I love connecting with you, too.” Then, I kiss her cheek. “How are you?”

“Right now, I’m pretty good. I can feel how wet you are through that thong of yours.”

I laugh again and say, “Not what I meant.”

“It’s hard, but it’ll be okay. At least, I knew this was coming. She also had a chance to take care of her affairs: she left me the house and her car. I’ve sold the car, but I haven’t decided about the house yet. Right now, I’m still living there, but I might sell it for the money and move into an apartment or something. It’s hard, being there without her. It’s quiet.”

“Do you think she’d want you to stay?”

“I don’t know. I think she always wanted me to be happy. When I told her I was gay at sixteen, freaking out that she could disown me because I’d only known a mother who wanted nothing to do with me, she just asked if I had a girlfriend. I said yes, and she invited her over to dinner.”

“Who is this girlfriend? Should I be jealous?” I joke.

“Well, she did feel me up in the backseat of her car after prom.”

I laugh and say, “Describe exactly what she did.”

“We left the dance early because it was boring. She drove, so we went to her car. She had those tiny bottles of booze. We drank a couple and made out for a while. Next thing I knew, my shirt was open, and her mouth was on my nipple.”

I clear my throat and ask, “Where were her hands?”

“One of them was on my other breast, and the other was inside my pants.”

“Did she make you come?” I ask, my heart racing inside my chest.

“No,” she says. “It was her first time doing anything like that, but it was mine, too, so it was still good. I came later that night, though.”

“You touched yourself?”

---