Page 96 of The Key to the Last House Before the Sea

‘No, but we can. We save a little money every month for Lily, to go to her when she’s older and needs it. But I had a talk with Alan about it yesterday afternoon. We properly talked. Like we used to.’ Valerie’s cheeks flushed pink. ‘And he agreed with me that Lily needs it now. She needs a decent home with her mother. So I went and saw Magda this morning and had a look at the flat, which is perfect for the two of you. I’ve paid the deposit and sorted everything out. You and Lily can move in next week.’

Nessa held her breath, hardly able to believe what she was hearing. From Valerie, the woman who blamed her for driving away her precious son. The woman who wanted to claim Lily as her own.

‘I don’t understand,’ she began. ‘You want Lily to move in here with you and Alan.’

Valerie’s smile was unbearably sad. ‘I’d have loved that but it wasn’t only for Lily’s sake, it was for mine, too. I get… I get…’ She took a deep breath. ‘The truth is, I get lonely here and feel that life is passing me by. I miss my job and my son and my youth and my life with Alan, how it used to be. And having Lily here makes everything better. She doesn’t judge me or upset me or find me a great disappointment.’

‘She loves you, Valerie,’ said Nessa, touched by her words. ‘What’s brought all this on? Is it because I upset you when we talked in the wood the other day? Maybe I shouldn’t—’

Valerie silenced her with the wave of a hand. ‘It had to be said. It was time I listened. And I’d told tales to Mr Gantwich, which I regret now.’

She looked out of the window at Jake, who was pushing Lily on the swing but paying her scant attention. He was too busy staring at the mobile phone in his other hand.

‘He really hasn’t turned out the way I thought he would, you know. I couldn’t see it, but now…’ She sighed. ‘His behaviour as a father is disappointing but I still love him, and I dare say I’m a disappointment to him as a mother. I certainly was as a mother-in-law.’ She turned to face Nessa and swallowed. ‘I apologise for that. Being a single parent can’t be easy and my attitude hasn’t helped.’

She sniffed, her eyes bright with tears.

‘You are such a huge help to me,’ said Nessa, grabbing hold of Valerie’s hands. ‘Lily loves you and Alan. You’re the only family she has – the only family who are around to give her the love she needs now that my gran’s gone.’ She sniffed back tears herself. ‘Honestly, Valerie, I couldn’t cope without you picking up Lily from school and giving her tea and taking her out on trips and having her to stay. You’re a fantastic grandmother and I appreciate you and Alan so much. Lily and I both do.’

‘That’s very kind of you to say.’ Valerie gently pulled her hands away. ‘But we need to do more because Jacob isn’t reliable. That’s what Alan and I agreed and that’s why the flat is yours, if you want it. I’d love Lily to live here with me but I’ve realised that’s better for me, not for her. She needs to be with you.

‘And if Jacob messes up with his maintenance money again and payments are late, let me know and we’ll do our best to plug the gap. He’s pleaded poverty to you in the past and I know he’s moved from job to job over the last few years, and has been out of work occasionally, so that might be right.’ She pulled her lips tight, as though it was hard to speak. ‘But I think right now he’s in a steady job and has more money than he’s letting on. So we could support you with challenging him and setting up something more official. Anyway, that’s for the future. The new flat is for now.’

Nessa’s head was reeling. ‘Thank you, Valerie. I appreciate everything you’ve said,’ she spluttered, ‘but I can’t take your money.’

She left the keys to the flat on the worktop. They were the answer to a huge problem that kept her awake at nights, but she couldn’t accept them.

‘Yes you can, for Lily’s sake. And in a way, it’s not our money anyway. It was always meant for our beautiful granddaughter. I mean it,’ she added when Nessa looked doubtful. ‘We want you and Lily to have the flat in the village. But I hope Lily can still come to stay sometimes.’

‘Lots of times,’ said Nessa, doing something she’d never thought she would in a million years. She stepped closer to Valerie and put her arms around her.

When Valerie stiffened, Nessa wondered if she’d gone too far. But then the older woman softened and put her arms around Nessa too. And as Nessa stood there, her cheek against Valerie’s shoulder, she remembered how it had felt to be held close by her own mum, half a lifetime ago.

‘Thank you,’ she mumbled.

Valerie said nothing but squeezed her more tightly.

‘What the hell’s going on in here?’ demanded Jake, bowling into the kitchen. He winced when the back door hit the wall with a thud. ‘Has someone died or something?’

‘My gran did, seven weeks ago,’ said Nessa, not moving from Valerie’s embrace.

‘I know that.’ Jake blinked as though he was finding it hard to focus.

Lily ran into the kitchen behind him and, with a giggle, ran to her mum and grandmother and threw her arms around the both of them.

‘All right, sweetheart?’ asked Valerie, reaching down to stroke her hair. ‘Are you having fun with Daddy?’

‘Daddy feels sick so he has to come in,’ mumbled Lily into Nessa’s waist. ‘Silly Daddy.’

Silly Daddy indeed, thought Nessa as Jake stood in the corner of the kitchen, watching the group hug but not a part of it. He didn’t know what he could have. He didn’t know what he was missing.

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