‘Why?’ Valerie frowned. ‘She wants to show them off to her friends, don’t you, love?’
Lily nodded, her brow furrowed in concentration as she tied her laces.
‘Of course she does, but the school is very firm on uniform and footwear. That’s why Lily’s school shoes are plain brown.’
‘I’m sure they won’t mind this once. Brown is so boring.’
‘They will mind, I’m afraid. We had a letter home about it recently.’
Lily turned her face towards Nessa, her bottom lip pushed forward. ‘I want to wear them at school today. Granny said I could.’
Valerie shrugged. ‘I can’t see the harm.’
‘We’ve been specifically asked to stick to plain school shoes. They’re more practical, and it’s fairer to the kids whose parents can’t afford pretty footwear.’
Parents like me, thought Nessa, willing Valerie to see sense and back her. But her ex mother-in-law drew her lips into a tight line and folded her arms.
‘Mummy, please let me wear my boots,’ pleaded Lily.
‘I’m afraid it’s not allowed.’
‘Please, Mummy, please!’
‘Why don’t you take them to school in a bag and you can change before you go to Clara’s,’ Nessa suggested, trying to ward off a meltdown. Lily was mostly well behaved but she had her moments.
‘I don’t want to take them in a bag,’ wailed Lily. ‘I want to wear them now.’
‘Of course you do, darling,’ Valerie butted in, putting her arm around Lily’s shoulders. ‘I think you’re being rather pedantic, Nessa, and look how upset you’re making your daughter.’
‘It’s not me,’ insisted Nessa, though she felt like a horrible mother when Lily began to cry. ‘It’s school rules. I’m trying to save Lily from getting into trouble. And it’s just a pair of boots, for goodness’ sake.’
Valerie pursed her lips, knelt down and began to untie Lily’s laces. ‘Come on, sweetheart. Mummy says you can’t wear your boots today and Mummy’s in charge. But I’ll find a bag so you can still take them to Clara’s.’
She grabbed Lily’s hand and led her into the kitchen while Nessa tried to calm the fluttering in her stomach. Suddenly, she was the big bad wolf in Lily’s eyes, the strict mother who didn’t allow any fun – unlike Granny with her chocolate cornflakes and shiny boots and disregard for school rules.
Nessa was trying so hard to make a new home for Lily, but would her daughter want to come back at the end of a month living here? What could she offer, other than her undying love? That was important to a five-year-old, but so were the material comforts that Nessa couldn’t provide.
‘Here we are,’ announced Valerie over-brightly, coming back into the hall. Lily, beside her, was carrying a canvas tote bag with the new boots stuffed inside. She put the bag down and pushed her feet into her school shoes, with a scowl.
‘That’s better. I know you’re not happy about it, Lily, but it can’t be helped.’ Nessa smiled and held out her hand. ‘Shall we go to school, then?’
‘OK,’ said Lily, before giving her grandmother a goodbye kiss.
But she walked all the way to school without taking hold of her mother’s hand, which broke Nessa’s heart.