VALERIE
Valerie was washing up when she heard the garden gate click. The house had been so quiet since Jacob moved out, she heard most people approaching.
Lily had brought some life to the house, but she’d only stayed one night and had been picked up earlier this afternoon by her friend Olive’s mum. Lily was going to tea with Olive and would no doubt have a lovely time, but Valerie wished she’d stayed for another hour or two.
To banish the silence, she’d turned the radio on for a while. The upbeat tones of Radio 2 were cheery but Alan had complained about the music being too loud and had switched over to a radio talk show. That had done nothing but depress Valerie, as it was full of people giving their opinion on things about which they knew very little.
Valerie took off her rubber gloves and laid them carefully on the drainer so they wouldn’t drip onto the floor. She didn’t want to make the floor slippery and cause an accident. Then, she stood leaning against the sink, trying to push down the disturbing feelings that sometimes threatened to overwhelm her.
She’d tried once to describe them to Alan. She’d attempted to explain the jumble of sadness, anger and desperation that made it hard to breathe. But Alan had looked at her as if she was mad, so she hadn’t mentioned her feelings since. She did her best to keep them hidden from everyone, including herself.
‘Get a grip, Valerie,’ she muttered, pushing herself away from the sink and walking wearily into the hall. Someone was approaching, their shadow dark in the frosted glass of the front door.
When the bell rang, she waited a moment before pulling the door open. It wouldn’t do to look as if she’d been waiting, with nothing else to do.
‘Oh.’
To her surprise, Nessa was standing on the doorstep, and Valerie’s heart started hammering.
‘Is everything all right with Lily? Olive’s mother picked her up as we’d arranged. That was right, wasn’t it?’ Her voice sounded high and panicky.
‘She’s fine, Valerie.’
‘Only it can’t be good for her, living with strangers all the time.’
It was a non-sequitur and Valerie knew it. She’d jumped from asking if it was OK that Olive’s mum had collected Lily to condemning her grandchild’s living arrangements. She couldn’t help it. Her grandchild should be living somewhere more permanent.
‘Driftwood House is very nice and, as I’ve said, it’s only temporary.’ Nessa wiped her hands across her eyes, as if she was weary too. ‘Sorry to call unexpectedly but could I have a quick word please?’
‘Yes, of course.’
Valerie stepped back and let Nessa into the hall, curious to find out why she was here. She never called round without Lily. All childcare arrangements were made at arm’s length, through phone calls or texts. It was better that way.
When Nessa sighed quietly, Valerie realised how exhausted she looked. And, for a moment, she felt sympathy for her. It must be hard for a young girl, being a single parent. But she’d chosen her path, thought Valerie, hardening her heart as she remembered her precious son far away.
When the kettle started whistling, Valerie jumped. Damn thing. Alan liked a peaceful house but he still insisted on having an old-fashioned kettle that sat on the hob.
‘Come with me,’ she ordered Nessa, going into the kitchen and turning off the flame. ‘I’m making a cup of tea for Alan. Would you like one?’
Nessa shook her head, much to Valerie’s relief.
‘No, thank you. I have things to do but I wanted to ask you a favour while Lily wasn’t here. A big one.’
She seemed nervous, Valerie realised, as she warmed the teapot and spooned in loose tea leaves. Tea bags were another modern invention that Alan didn’t much approve of. Not that he ever seemed to make the tea himself.
When the spoon hit the side of the pot and leaves scattered across the worktop, Valerie had a bizarre urge to cry – over tea leaves, for goodness’ sake. What on earth was wrong with her?
Nessa was suddenly at her side.
‘Why don’t you sit down, Valerie, and I can finish making the tea.’
And she sounded so concerned, so kind, Valerie was filled with gratitude, and irritation at herself. How silly must she seem when she couldn’t even make a pot of tea without messing it up? Quite honestly, she felt like someone else these days.
‘I’ll be fine,’ she said brusquely, adding ‘thanks’ for good measure because Nessa was being kind. ‘What was the favour you wanted to ask?’
Nessa perched on one of the stools that lined the breakfast bar. ‘First of all, thank you for having Lily to stay last night.’
‘You’re welcome. We had fun and she loved the mini-zoo this morning.’