‘You pushed him into a marriage that he didn’t want, and tricked him into having a child.’
‘I didn’t trick him into anything. He said he wanted a child and promised to be a good father. And he was the one who persuaded me to get married, although I’d never expected that to happen, what with Jake being such a self-proclaimed…’ She sighed. ‘… free spirit.’
‘There’s no need to be sarcastic,’ said Valerie, pushing down memories of Jacob informing her he was too much of a free spirit to clean his bedroom, or pay rent when he lived at home. ‘He’s his own person. He’s always been above average and too good for the people around here.’
Nessa laughed. She actually laughed. ‘Do you mean too good for me? The woman who’s stuck around to bring up his daughter, who drives through the night to her side when she’s ill, who sleeps in a derelict cottage for a month to try and secure a roof over her head, who kept you and Alan stocked up with food when you both had flu? Who did all of those things? It certainly wasn’t your perfect son.’
‘He loves us,’ spluttered Valerie. Her world was starting to spin off its axis.
Nessa’s face softened and she grabbed hold of Valerie’s hands.
‘I’m sure he does love you. I guess he loves Lily too, in his own way. But he’s not around to provide for her and to keep her safe and happy. That’s been my job as her mother and I love her more than anything else in the world. Maybe the cottage was a stupid idea and was never going to work. But I was desperate, and I’m doing the best that I can. It’s just not easy.’
When Nessa’s bottom lip wobbled and a fat tear slid down her cheek, Valerie felt even more blindsided. She blamed Nessa. She’d blamed her for a long time, but the woman in front of her was vulnerable and in need of help.
Valerie wasn’t a hard woman, or was she? Perhaps she’d become a hard woman over the years. Alan sometimes said she’d changed, but how could she stay the same when so much was different now? Her son was far away, she wasn’t sure her husband still loved her, the job she enjoyed had ended, and even her body seemed alien to her these days – sometimes boiling hot, sometimes cold, with aches and pains that seemingly sprang from nowhere.
Thoughts and memories she’d locked away for so long began tumbling through her head: Alan adorably nervous on their wedding day; bringing their newborn son home from the hospital; a grown-up Jacob telling her he was going to be a father, his eyes shining with pride.
Then, when Lily was only one, Jacob informing them he had a new job two hundred miles away and was leaving Heaven’s Cove. They’d seen him only a dozen times in the four years since. But he was busy carving out his career. And Valerie knew something Nessa evidently did not.
‘Jacob is coming home this weekend, actually,’ she said, resisting the urge to comfort Nessa but passing her a clean tissue all the same. ‘He messaged out of the blue and said he’d like to stay on Saturday night, and on Sunday, Alan’s birthday.’ Catching sight of Nessa’s face, Valerie added: ‘He promised that he’d definitely be here, and he can’t wait to see Lily.’
‘Did he really say that?’ asked Nessa, a hint of weariness in her voice.
‘Of course,’ said Valerie, trying to visualise the text message.
She was sure he’d mentioned Lily. He hadn’t specifically mentioned Alan’s birthday but the celebrations were obviously why he was coming back this particular weekend. Alan was going to be fifty-eight and Jacob wanted to wish his dad a happy birthday in person. Alan hadn’t said much about his son’s visit, but Valerie could tell he was pleased.
Nessa glanced at her watch. ‘Look, I have to go. I’m working in Sally’s gift shop for a few hours today. I know the last five minutes have been difficult but I had to clear the air between us.’
Was that what she’d done? To Valerie, it had felt more like a telling off, followed by a character assassination of her son. But at least they both knew where they stood – which was further apart than ever, it seemed.
Nessa got to her feet but didn’t walk away. She cleared her throat but said nothing.
Valerie looked up. ‘Was there something else you wanted to say?’
‘Yes. I wasn’t sure I could but…’ She stopped, gathering herself together, then she said calmly, ‘I can’t find a job that fits round Lily and pays enough for me to give her the decent home that she deserves. But you and Alan can give her that. So, if your offer still stands, maybe she could move in with you? It wouldn’t be forever,’ she said, her bottom lip wobbling again. ‘But it might be a while until I can get myself sorted out. I know it’s an imposition, especially after our disagreement, and I still hate that you spoke to Gabriel’s father, but—’
‘It’s fine,’ said Valerie. ‘Lily can stay for as long as she likes.’
‘Thank you,’ said Nessa, her voice tight. ‘I’ll give you a call after I’ve finished work so we can make some arrangements. If possible, I’d like her to stay with me at Driftwood House until the school holiday starts. So we have a little more time together.’
When Nessa walked off, Valerie watched until the young woman disappeared amongst the trees.
She sat back on the uncomfortable picnic bench and tried to enjoy the warmth of the sun on her face. In the distance, a horn sounded as the tiny ferry that ran from Heaven’s Cove along the coast passed by.
Jacob was coming home for his father’s birthday and Lily was coming to stay for who knew how long. The house would be full of life, and Valerie would have a purpose again. All was suddenly right in her world, so why did she feel so miserable?