Chapter Sixteen
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“Well, here we are,”I say, stopping right outside of my dorm room.
Even though I told him he didn’t need to walk me inside, Alec insisted on doing so.
“Here we are.” He gives me a sad smile, his eyes going to the door behind me.
“It was really great seeing you,” I tell him, as a tight ball of emotion forms in my chest.
“I’m not ready to say goodbye yet.” His dark eyes meet mine and a million thoughts run through my mind.
What if this is it? What if this is the last time I see him? What if he realizes what I already have? That there’s no way we can go back to the people we were before we knew the truth.
We’ve spent the last two years trying and failing. Which is why it’s been so long since we’ve spoken. Because deep down we both know that contact is torturing us. If we were smart, we would rip the Band-Aid off now and save ourselves the torment of continuing to pull it off slowly.
“Me either,” I admit.
“You’re all I think about, Hope. I know we said we couldn’t do this, but I want to. I want you. I’vealwayswanted you.”
“Alec, please.” I know if he keeps going I might not have the strength to turn him away.
“Our friendship is never going to be the same, is it?”
“No.”
“Then why can’t we try for something more?”
“You know why.”
“Because of Lucy? That was two years ago.”
“It’s notjustbecause of Lulu. You live in Missouri. I live in New York. You know as well as I do that it would never work.”
“I can’t accept that.”
“You’re going to have to.”
Despite my words, when he steps toward me, I don’t step away. When he reaches out and tugs me to his chest, I don’t try to stop him. I feel the high coming on fast and strong and all I want is more. One more hit. One more line. Just more...
One second I’m fighting with all my might to not give in and the next, I’m up on the balls of my feet with my lips pressed to his.
Like a wild animal, I turn savage, clawing and tugging at him like he’s a juicy piece of meat and I haven’t eaten in weeks.
When we stumble inside my dorm room, I glance around quickly to confirm that Sophie isn’t here before I pull him back down to me.
Clothes fly off in rapid succession. My shirt. His shirt. My pants. His pants. We can’t seem to get out of them fast enough.
I have no thought of consequence. No worry about what happens next. No concern with anything other than satisfying this need building in my lower belly.
I’m desperate. Overrun with a hunger I’ve never felt before.
All the times I knew something was missing. This was it. This was what was missing...Alec.
And when he settles between my thighs and slides inside me, I’m lost...
To the sensation. To the overwhelming feeling of being filled to the brink. To the way my body sings at his touch.