Page 37 of Force of Nature

“You’ve been avoiding me,” he repeats, a small smile playing on his lips.

“No I haven’t,” I insist, fighting to keep my voice light and casual.

“That why you took off this morning when you were supposed to help me rewire the chicken coup.”

Shit. In my attempt to avoid Thad I forgot I had agreed to help him, per my father’s request yesterday at breakfast.

“I totally forgot about that. Sorry. I had some things to take care of in town. My agent sent me over a couple scripts to take a look at and since my parents live in the middle of nowhere and don’t have internet, I had to go to the library to print everything off.”

“So where are they?” he asks, glancing down at my hands folded in my lap.

“Huh?” I follow his gaze, not sure what he’s talking about.

“The scripts you printed off.” He points out that I have nothing with me but my small over the shoulder purse that couldn’t possibly hold a stack of papers.

“Oh, I wasn’t able to print them. Their printer was out of service today. I spent a couple hours reading over them and I planned to go back tomorrow but now that Karen has officially bit the dust I’ll have to see if Mom will let me borrow her car.”

“I see,” he says like he can’t tell if I’m telling the truth or making up excuses as to why I took off without helping him this morning.

I really did review a couple scripts this morning and I really did forget about helping him. But I was also avoiding him, so technically he’s not wrong there.

“Anything promising?” he adds.

“Promising?”

“Your scripts. Was there anything promising?”

“Oh. One was pretty interesting, the supporting role in an Indie film. The other was a slasher movie. Fourth girl to die.” I shrug. “I’ll be lucky if I even get to read for the part. My agent didn’t seem overly optimistic about that particular role.”

“Tell me about your agent.”

“Wendy. I love her. She’s amazing,” I say, jumping at the chance to talk about anything that doesn’t have to do with last night. “She’s my friend Whitney’s agent. Apparently she went to school with Whit’s mom and agreed to rep Whitney when she went into acting. Which led to her taking me on as well. She’s landed me some pretty decent small roles, but nothing that pays a whole hell of a lot. The last couple years has been about building my résumé. Now we’re looking for the stand out role. Something that will send my career into another stratosphere. Only problem is the thousands of others that are looking for that same role. I’m not sure if it’s more about talent or luck at this point.”

“Maybe a little bit of both.”

“Yeah. Maybe.” I shrug, turning my gaze back out the window as Thad speeds down the vacant country road.

We don’t sit in silence for long before I have to break it–not able to take this awkwardness I feel happening between us. It’s like we’re making small talk for the sake of saving face. Or maybe I’m the only one that feels it. I can’t be sure. Thad seems completely at ease next to me and maybe that’s what’s eating at me the most.

“Listen, about last night...” I start, stopping to clear my throat, not able to speak past the sudden thick knot lodged there when my eyes land on the side of his face.

“You were drunk. You said some things you probably regret today. It’s okay, Laken. We’ve all been there. You don’t have to explain yourself.”

“I don’t regret what I said,” I blurt, not missing the way the side of his mouth hitches slightly like he’s fighting a smile. “Puking all over the place, yes. But what I said, no. I meant what I said.”

“Laken.” His voice deepens almost like it’s physically painful for him to hear me admit my lack of regret.

“We don’t have to have some big discussion about it. I just want to put it out there that I meant what I said–drunk or not. The ball is in your court now. It’s up to you what you choose to do with it.”

“Fair enough.” He nods, his eyes never once leaving the road.

Silence once again settles between us only now I feel even worse than I did two minutes ago. Why can’t I ever leave well enough alone? I don’t know what it is about me. It’s like I’m hardwired to complicate uncomplicated situations. I think too much. I worry. I obsess. I get inside my head and then I feel like if I don’t resolve whatever issue I’m having I might burst apart at the seams.

We arrive back at my parents all too quickly and yet not nearly quick enough. I have to wait for Thad to exit the truck before I can get out instead of jumping out of the passenger side and avoiding him all together like I’d like to.

He waits next to the door until I’m down and out of the way before shoving it closed. Meanwhile, I want to get the hell away from him as quickly as possible.

If what just happened is any indication, I totally misread the signals last night and it was just as I had feared. He was trying to let me down gently. And the kiss, well I guess that was his way of making the rejection a little easier to take.

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