Page 62 of Force of Nature

“I’m guessing based on your reaction that he hasn’t said a word about any of this.”

“Nothing. I mean, deep down I knew there was something everyone wasn’t telling me, I just never dreamed it would be this.”

“I’m sorry to lay it on you. I just thought you deserved to know the truth and I figured he wouldn’t tell you. He doesn’t talk about it. Like ever. I think it makes it easier for him to pretend that it isn’t real. But it is real, and while he’s sober now, this addiction will always be a part of his life. He will have to work every single day to stay clean and that’s the hard truth of the matter. Thad’s a good dude and it’s clear he cares for you, but you need to understand what you’re getting into before it gets too serious.”

“That’s why he doesn’t drink.”

“Exactly. He can’t have any type of substance that might cause him to relapse. At first he used to avoid any situation where alcohol was involved but now it doesn’t seem to bother him. It was never alcohol he had a problem with.”

“I can’t believe he didn’t tell me this himself,” I say, trying to disguise the hurt in my voice.

“Can you blame him?”

“I guess not.” I sigh. “I just wish he had trusted me enough to tell me the truth. Then again, we’re only hooking up so why would he?”

“Only hooking up?” Chris arches a brow like he doesn’t believe that for one second.

“It’s nothing serious,” I explain, even though for me it’s been serious since the moment it began. “We’re having some fun until I go back to L.A.”

“You keep telling yourself that, kid. See how long it takes for you to actually believe it.” He kicks his heel gently, nudging his horse to start moving.

I sit completely motionless for a good twenty seconds before doing the same, Cocoa and I trotting up next to him moments later.

“Why do you always do that?”

“Do what?” he questions, glancing in my direction.

“Act like you know what I’m thinking or how I’m feeling. You’ve done that for as long as I can remember. You think you know me better than I know myself.”

“Maybe I do.”

“I’ve been gone for four years, Chris. People change.”

“They do, and you have. As have I. But you’re still my little sister and I know you at your core. Some things are hardwired into who we are.”

“That doesn’t mean you know what I’m thinking,” I counter.

“No, but I have eyes. I can tell by the way you look at Thad, by the way you twist your hair nervously when you’re in the same room as him, by the way you constantly try to fight your smile every time he glances your way. You’re in deep, sis, whether you want to admit it or not. And if I had to guess, I’d say he is as well. So while you may be telling yourselves this is just a casual hookup, there doesn’t appear to be anything casual about it. I just want you to prepare yourself. Leaving may not be nearly as easy as you think it will be.”

“You were always the mushy one of the boys.” I play off the seriousness of his statement.

“I am not mushy,” he argues.

“Um, yes you are.”

“You’re just trying to distract me from the truth you don’t want me to see.”

“And what truth is that?” I look at him expectantly.

“That you’re in love.”

The sound that leaves my throat is a mix between a laugh and sob. I guess I couldn’t decide if I wanted to laugh at the ridiculousness of his statement or cry because deep down I know it’s true.

“I’m not in love.” I roll my eyes like it’s the most absurd thing I’ve ever heard.

“You are,” he tells me matter of fact. “Which is why I felt like it was time for you to know the truth about Thad’s past.”

“Well now I know.” I brush it off. “It still doesn’t change anything. I’m leaving, hopefully sooner rather than later, and this thing between me and Thad will be over once I do.”

---