Page 93 of When Dawn Breaks

“Just give me five minutes. Please. I owe you an explanation and an apology.” I soften my voice, once again reaching for the bags which to my surprise she lets me take this time.

Without another word she fishes her keys from her purse and quickly unlocks the door, gesturing for me to go inside before following me in. She takes off up the stairs to the right of the door, another set leading down on the left. I follow her up, waiting until she’s unlocked her apartment door before following her inside.

“You can just set those on the table.” She gestures to a round, glass-top table just to the right of the door in the small dining area.

Depositing the bags down, I look around the space. It reminds me a lot of Bree’s apartment—small dining room off a galley-style kitchen, living room on the other side, and a hallway that leads back to the bedrooms and bathrooms.

When I finally look at Courtney again, she’s leaning against the back of the loveseat that’s angled to act as a separation piece between the living room and dining room, watching me intently.

“So.” I clear my throat, gesturing around the space. “This is a nice place you have here.”

She shrugs, gaze remaining locked on me. “It’s okay.”

“You live here with a roommate?” I ask.

“Alex,” She confirms.

“Did you guys go to Alabama together?” I question, already knowing from Tess that they did.

“We did.” She lets out a breath. “So did you come all this way to ask about my living arrangements, or was there an actual point to this visit?”

“Right, to the point.” I nod.

“Well, how else should I be? The last time we spoke was after I walked in on you kissing my best friend. I guess you could say I’m a little confused why the hell you’re here.”

“As you should be. I’ve been a little confused myself honestly.” I shuffle my feet, feeling suddenly very uncomfortable. “I’m sorry about Bree, about you finding out the way you did. I never wanted that.”

“So you’re sorry for me finding out but not for letting it happen?” she bites, crossing her arms protectively over her chest.

“I won’t apologize for it happening. I can’t. But I am sorry for hurting you. You have to know that I never wanted that.”

“What did you think would happen, Ant? That I’d find out you and my best friend have been lying to me for months, and I’d be happy about it?”

“Of course not, and for the record, it’s only been a couple weeks since we’ve actually been together. Bree didn’t want anything to happen until she had a chance to talk to you first,” I try to explain.

“Well, I see that didn’t last,” she snips.

“It didn’t. But that’s my fault. I pushed. I didn’t give her a choice. I wanted her so badly I didn’t care who got hurt. She tried to fight it, tried to deny it even, but in the end, she couldn’t resist me any more than I could resist her.”

“And that’s supposed to make me feel better?”

“I’m just trying to be honest.”

“Little late for that don’t you think?” She looks down for a long moment, and when her gaze finally meets mine again I can see the tears building behind her chocolate eyes.

I hate that I did this, that I put them there. But I also can’t take it back either. We’re far past the point of prevention.

“Yeah, it is,” I admit. “I didn’t handle this situation very well, I know that. I should’ve told you the night we went to dinner. I wanted to. It was on the tip of my tongue so many times over the course of that night. Nothing had even happened between Bree and me at that point.”

“When did something happen?”

“That night when I went back to her apartment,” I say almost apologetically.

“So you have the opportunity to tell me—don’t—and then go back and what, fuck her? Like that somehow makes any fucking sense.”

“I know it doesn’t make any sense—trust me I do—but I can’t think straight when it comes to her. I’ve been trying like hell to do the right thing, but the second she looks at me it’s like I lose sight of everything else. It’s not an excuse, I know, but fuck, Court, I’m trying to make this right the only way I know how.”

“And what way is that exactly?”

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