Page 68 of Where the Night Ends

“Are you going to LSU, Sebastian?”

“I was planning on discussing everything with you tonight.”

“Well, you can just get it over with and tell me now. I mean, you didn’t wait to share the news with other people, so clearly it isn’t some big secret.”

“I only told Ant, and that’s because I needed someone to bounce it off of. You’re telling me that if you got a full scholarship to Columbia and accepting it meant we’d be separated that you wouldn’t talk to Courtney and Bree first, get their opinions.”

I hate that I know he’s right. That’s exactly what I would do. But that doesn’t change how hurt I feel that I had to find out the way I did.

“So you’re going to accept?” I question, the anger in my voice faltering.

“I don’t want to leave you, Tess.” He takes a step toward me. “But this is it. This is everything I’ve worked for.”

“Are you going to accept it?” I repeat.

“I already have.”

My eyes instantly go wide, and a rush of wind leaves my body like someone has just sucker punched me right in the stomach.

Deep down, the rational part of me knows this is a good thing. Sebastian’s right, this is everything he’s been working toward. He was just offered a full scholarship to play football at his dream college, and here I am souring the moment like a damn spoiled child. But at the same time, I can’t help it. I can’t help that I feel angry and hurt. I can’t help that I want to scream and yell and make sure he knows how much I hate every second of this.

I stumble backward, not sure when the ground decided it wanted to swallow me up but willing to let it take me down either way. Before I can make it very far, Sebastian’s arms are around me and I’m pressed firmly to his chest, his soothing voice soft against my ear.

“We’ll figure it out, Tess. I promise. You’re all that I care about, all that matters. I wouldn’t be doing this if I didn’t think it was the best thing for us. We can’t hold each other back from doing what we’ve planned. As hard as it will be to leave you, I don’t want to wake up five years from now and resentyoufor the choicesImade. We can still do everything we want and be together at the same time. I’m not saying it will be easy, but I know we can do it.”

“LSU is over a thousand miles away,” I choke, letting my anger give way to the fear that is controlling it in the first place.

“I can come up on some weekends and holidays, it’s less than a three-hour flight, and I can easily make that when time allows. And we’ll talk on the phone every day,” he reassures me, pulling back to meet my gaze. “I swear to you, Tess, no amount of miles is going to change my love for you. If nothing, it’s only going to make me love you even more. And we’ll cherish the time we get together more because we won’t get it as often. I know we can make this work, Tess.” He cups my cheek, the warmth of his hand soothing my cold flesh.

“I’m scared,” I admit, swiping at the tears that continue to leak from my eyes, wishing like hell I knew how to stop them all together.

“I know you are, baby. I am, too. But I also know I need to do this.”

“I know you do,” I admit, letting out a deep breath. “And I love that you’re determined enough to go after what you want head on. I just hate that your dream is taking you so far away from me.”

“We still have some time to figure it all out, okay?” His eyes search mine for reassurance. “I’m so sorry that you found out this way, but I’m not sorry that you know. You were the only person I wanted to share this with, the first person I thought of when I got the call from the coach, but I also knew that telling you would be one of the hardest things for me to do.”

“I’m sorry I made it even harder.” Guilt tightens in my chest.

“Don’t be. I should’ve just manned up and told you the instant I found out. Truth be told, I was scared. I’m still scared. But I know as long as I have your support, we can find a way to make this work. Just tell me I won’t lose you over this.”

“You’re not going to lose me,” I promise. “Ever.”

He lets out a deep sigh and tightens his grip on me. “I want to spend every second I can with you. You’re going to be so sick of me come June, you’ll be ready for me to leave.”

“June?” I question, assuming he had until at least August.

“Summer conditioning starts the first week in June.”

“Wow. That’s really soon.” The reality of the entire situation sits like cinder blocks on my shoulders, weighing me down.

We have just over three months left before he leaves and suddenly the days between now and then feel like seconds ticking by on a bomb set to explode.

“It is. And I hate that we won’t get to spend the summer together. But this is what it takes to play college ball. It’s going to be demanding and time-consuming, but I’m up for the challenge. Who knows, maybe next year you’ll decide LSU sounds a hell of a lot better than Columbia, and you can come be my own private cheerleader,” he teases.

Truth be told, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t already considering it. While yes, Columbia is the dream, I honestly don’t care where I go so long as I’m with Sebastian. I make a mental note to check out their admissions page later tonight.

“I think you’re getting a little ahead of yourself,” I retort, deciding not to rush into telling him anything until I know for sure that it’s something I’m willing to do.

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