Page 105 of Something to Believe In

The muscles in his arms contract, and I wait for him to push me away or come up with some excuse to brush it off. Instead, my eyebrows raise in surprise as he lets out a long sigh. He scoots up into a sitting position, pausing the movie and pulling me up to sit next to him. I bite my lip as I wait to hear what he has to say.

“I’m not gonna lie to you,” he says, brushing my hair behind my ear. “This last year has been shit. With losing dad and the accident, stuffing things up with you and Sarah, losing footy, and then everything that happened with Joel. It’s a lot.” He drops his gaze and I swallow the lump in my throat. “I’d be lying if I told you there wasn’t a moment or two where I thought–” his voice hitches and I rest my hand on his chest. He closes his eyes and takes a couple of deep breaths. “Where I thought about doing…about going down that same route.”

My stomach clenches and I blink back the tears in burning the corner of my eyes. “Oli,” I whisper, but he silences me with his lips.

“I’m not telling you this to shock or upset you,” he murmurs. “And I’m not telling you this for sympathy. I’m okay. I’m gonna be okay, and I’m telling you this because you’re the reason I’m gonna be okay.” He presses kisses to my forehead, the tip of my nose, and back to my lips. “I wouldn’t have gotten through any of this if you hadn’t forgiven me. If you hadn’t loved me as much as I love you.”

I brush away the tears that have slipped down my cheek. “Oli, I don’t know what I would’ve done if you’d…if I’d lost you like that.”

He wipes his thumb over my cheek, and I press my face into his touch. “You didn’t though.”

“But I could’ve!”

He sighs. “I didn’t come that close. The thought just crossed my mind once.” I raised my eyebrows. “Or twice,” he adds, kissing the tip of my nose. “But I promise you, I don’t even think about it anymore.”

I press my lips together in a thin line. I asked the question; I got the answer. “Can you promise me you’ll talk to me if you ever start to think like that again?”

Oliver cups my cheek in his hand and tries to kiss me, but I pull away. “I promise,” he says, grinning at me. “But it’s not going to happen. I love you for looking out for me, but right now, I’d like to make out with my girlfriend.”

He places his laptop on his bedside table and rolls over, squishing me beneath him. He covers my face in kisses and tickling me as I squirm, giggling like a little kid.

“Okay, okay. Stop.” I laugh out.

Oliver rolls on to his side facing me and I swat him. His dimples are on full display. He brushes my hair back off my face. “I seriously love you, Hannah Robinson.”

Heat spreads throughout my whole body, flushing my cheeks. “I love you, Oliver Johnson.”

His hand slides down my arm, giving me goosebumps. He doesn’t move to kiss me; he just stares at me in a way that makes my stomach flutter in anticipation. His touch is light, and his fingers sweep across my waist, hovering there. My pulse is racing and my breath hitches in my throat. I bite my bottom lip, knowing it drives him crazy. His chest is moving up and down and I run my hands underneath his t-shirt, resting them just above his stomach. He sucks in a deep breath.

Leaning forward I press my lips to his, slowly and deliberately. He releases the breath he’s been holding and pulls my body closer to his.

“I really do love you,” he murmurs, kissing along my jaw until his lips are just below my ear.

“I know,” I whisper.

“There’s been no one else,” he adds, his finger drawing light circles on my waist. I can barely concentrate on what he’s saying. “Only you.”

I pull back to search his face, and he nods. I couldn’t love this boy anymore if I tried. My heart is hitting my ribs so hard, they feel like they’re about to crack. I slowly peel off my pyjama top without taking my eyes of his. Oliver’s hazel orbs widen, and his breath hitches as he runs his hand lightly down my collarbone, pausing just above my naked chest.

“Are you sure?” he manages to whisper.

My lips find his, answering his question, and everything finally feels right between us. I moan softly, enjoying the pressure of Oliver’s body against mine. My fingers trail up his smooth chest, feeling every contour of his muscular frame. Wanting to feel his warm skin against mine, I tug his T-shirt up over his head.

“Thank you,” he murmurs. “For never giving up on me.” He kisses the tip of my nose. “I love you.” Then his mouth is back on mine and he shows me just how much he loves me.

50

Macca leaves for preseason training with the Adelaide Football Club reserves team at the start of November. I’m not going to lie, I’m proud as hell of my best friend, but I’m also a little jealous to see him taking steps toward my dream. Ashley, Hannah, JD, and I drop him off at the airport.

“I’ll be back a week before Christmas,” Macca grunts out as Ashley buries her head in his shoulder.

“So we’ll get to hang out for a week before Hannah and I leave.” I grin, giving him a fist bump.

“And then I leave two weeks later for Sydney,” Ashley pouts.

“And I’ll be stuck here,” JD mutters.

I raise my eyebrows at my friend, but he just rolls his eyes.

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