Page 46 of An Accidental Romance

“Furthermore,” he said, glaring at her, his eyes like blue flames. “I do not need your family to thrust their domestic happiness upon me and demonstrate what I lack in my own life.”

“They would never do such a thing, and that was definitely not their intent today,” Rebecca exclaimed.

“No, of course it wasn’t,” Ben said sarcastically. “You know as well as I that I was invited to join the family for Sunday luncheon because your brothers were forced to do so by their wives—”

“Who were upset at the treatment my brothers gave you,” Rebecca said, feeling defensive. “It was a genuine offer to make amends and be neighborly.”

“Well, if they would like to be cordial neighbors, I suggest they leave off invitations for the time being,” he replied. “I do not need their questioning looks when it comes to the use of my title while here in Lincolnshire, I do not need their looks of pity when it comes to my status as a widower, andI especially do not needthe constant reminder of their successes and my own obvious failures when it comes to marriage and marital felicity, especially when they have made it perfectly clear they wish the friendship you and I have developed to cease.”

“What do you mean, they wish our friendship to cease?” Rebecca asked, aghast. “Theytoldmeyou claimed you would never marry again and that their concern for me was to avoid forming an attachment to you.” It was too late for that, but she wouldnotsay so to Ben. Certainly not right now.

“I never”—he huffed out a breath—“What Isaidwasthat I was not ready to marryat presentandcouldn’t guaranteeI would ever marry. I didnotsay—”

“Those are minor distinctions,my lord,” Rebecca exclaimed, her heart thudding in her chest and her entire being shaking with anger and despair.

“Donot‘my lord’ me,” he hissed, still gripping her shoulders. His leaned over her, his face mere inches from her own. “Donotthrow my title at me in such a manner! Especially not that, not now. I am beyond frustration and despair, and your family only makes matters worse. Can you not understand? Iwantyou in my life—and Idon’t!” And with that wholly destructive statement, he lowered his head and pressed his lips to hers until she thought she might never breathe again. And then he ended the kiss, and she inhaled deeply before he again took her mouth with his own and laid siege on her once more.

His hands slid from her shoulders to her back, and she flung her arms around his neck, barely aware of the clatter her crutches made as they fell to the floor. She had longed for this, and now it was happening, and it was more powerful than she’d ever imagined. He lifted her into his arms just as he had done when she’d fallen at the stile on that very first day, his kisses never ceasing, his heavenly lips returning to hers over and over again.

He sat in a chair and settled Rebecca in his lap, and she felt as though she’d found her place, her home. She couldn’t imagine sharing such exquisite emotions and sensations with anyone but him. His lips explored her face, her throat, and her lips again, and she held him and allowed her own lips to explore in return—the line of his jaw, the roughness of his cheeks, the full lusciousness of his mouth. Her fingers tangled in his hair, learning its texture, and then she clutched his head in her hands to keep his heavenly kisses from ceasing.

Oh, how I love you!she thought.

“What did you say?” he whispered, pulling back from her, his eyes half-lidded and dark. His brows were furrowed.

Had she spoken the words aloud? She could tell by his expression that she had. “I—nothing,” she replied with barely any breath.

He stood, carefully lifting her from his lap as he did so, set her back in the chair, and retrieved her fallen crutches. How mortifying everything was after such . . . She couldn’t bear to think about it, even though she could still feel the sensation of his lips on her own and his hands caressing her back, his breath upon her face. She couldn’tnotthink about it.

“My apologies,” he said softly after setting her crutches within reach and clasping his hands behind his back. “I’m afraid I overstepped my bounds as a gentleman and a neighbor.”

She gasped. “Don’t!” she cried, her heart breaking. Her entire body began to tremble. She wouldn’t be able to endure it if he said it meant nothing to him, when it meant everything to her. “If you must leave, then do so, butdo notapologize for what happened!”

Something in his face contorted. Some hateful, base part of her hoped it was from pain, even if it was but a fraction of the pain now engulfing her. And yet, she loved him; she knew she did. How could she wish this sort of agony upon him?

“I did not mean—” he began.

“Go, Ben, if you must,” she whispered tautly. “I can only wish you well.”

“Rebecca—” he began.

“No,” she said, holding up her hand to stop him. “Say no more, please; I can’t bear it.”

He nodded silently and left.

She dropped her face into her hands and wept. And then she went numb.

* * *

Ben strode down the corridor to the main entrance, steel-jawed, a mass of tangled knots inside. She had said she loved him. In that passionate, unguarded moment, Rebecca had uttered the words, “Oh, how I love you.”

“I believe I am in love with you, Lord Winton,” Gemma said, her lips swollen from his kisses. “I hope you don’t consider me too forward by uttering the wordsaloud.” She smiled coquettishly up at him, blinking with those long eyelashes ofhers over large, gray eyes.

He’d been congratulated by a rather surprising number of jealous rivals when he’d proposed to her and she’d accepted. He’d felt rather grand, actually, especially when considering she’d had a few particular favorites among the gentlemen of theton—Sir Richard Egan and Viscount Whitley and Oliver Banfield and the always popular Hugh Mandeville amongst them.

“Well done, Lord Winton,” Mr. Mandeville said after Ben’s betrothal to Gemmahad been officially announced. Ben had hosted a dinner for a few of his and herfriends in order to share the news with them. “You have won our dearest darling,the diamond of the Season. I daresay I shall have to go into mourning now.” Others similarly congratulated Ben on the match.

“How fortunate I am that Lord Winton has chosen me to be his bride,” Gemma said to all who had gathered that evening.

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