Page 73 of Bittersweet Addiction

I shake my head. “No. I knew what our relationship was. Even if she didn’t.”

“But you said you were a commitment-phobe. That doesn’t necessarily mean you didn’t love her. Just that you were too afraid to admit it.”

I lean back, impressed by her statement. “You’d make an excellent shrink.”

“I learned from the best.” She smiles and my heart skips a beat hearing her talk about me that way.

“I don’t think I loved her,” I say finally. “I think I cared for her, and I hurt her. But I didn’t love her.”

“Have you ever been in love?” She pauses. “Besides me?”

I sigh, wracking my brain for any of the similar signs that I exhibit with Charlotte every day. I try to remember having any of the symptoms I was experiencing as I fell hard for her. Nothing even comes close.

“No. I never felt for anyone a fraction of what I feel for you.”

She nods and I pause, wondering if I want to open this can of worms, but I figure while we are on the subject we might as well get everything out in the open. “When do you think you fell out of love with Wells?”

“Shouldn’t you know that?” she giggles.

“Charley…” I trail off.

Truth is, I’m not sure. I wonder if she had already fallen out of love with him before they started coming to me.

“I don’t know,” she shrugs. “Probably sometime before the first time I asked for a divorce. Somewhere in our third year of marriage.”

“And you stayed with him another two years, Charley?”

She shrugs sadly. “I didn’t know what else to do, Will. I thought…I felt so alone.” The tears well up in her eyes and before I know it water is sloshing out of the tub as I pull her swiftly through it and into my lap. I pull her to me, her hands resting on my chest as she straddles my thighs.

“We don’t have to talk about it. Just know that you’re not alone now. I never want you to feel that way again.”

“I know. You were so good to me…even before…I should have known that I was different. That you didn’t treat all of your wife patients like me.”

“None like you,” I whisper as my lips find hers.

“You were the first man to ask me about my day in years.” She sighs. “I think I fell in love with you then.” I look into her eyes where I can still see a few traces of hurt behind them, and I decide to end this for good.

“Charley…I know today was difficult for you, but you know me,” I tell her as I press her hand to my heart. “You know me better than anyone. You know that what we have is real. What I feel for you is real. I hate to say it like this, but if I wasn’t invested, if I wasn’t all in…I wouldn’t have pushed you to leave Wells. I’m never going to get bored of you or of this. The spark will never die between us. It will always be exciting. I love you, Charley.” I guide her onto my cock, feeling her slide down on me. “I love you so much.”

IWATCH THE LOVE OFmy life stand to his feet as a panel of seven decide his fate as a doctor. I frown as I watch as his father, his lawyer, stands beside him. I’m seated behind him in the crowd and I wonder if he can feel the vibes I’m sending him. I look nervously to the right to see his mother tapping her fingertips against the armrest a few seats down. I was seated first, having arrived with Will hours ago. Diana arrived later and immediately chose her seat, making a point that she’d rather not sit next to me. I offer her a weak smile, but her cold eyes give away nothing.

I turn my gaze forward again, ignoring the tension radiating between me and my future mother-in-law.

“Dr. Montgomery, in all of my years as a psychologist, and the years I’ve served on this board, never have I ever been on a case this—circumstantial. This…objective. A case with such an exorbitant amount of gray area. I understand that you fell in love and I do wish you well, but the fact of the matter is you broke a number of rules that led you to where we are now. And after both of your testimonies, it appears that you have very little regard for the rules that you broke. You made your choice, Dr. Montgomery. It wasnotyour career. The cards were always in your hand regarding your future.”

My blood runs cold hearing Dr. Marks’ words and I hear a gasp from a few seats down.She knows it too. We all know it.

This is it.

I can’t escape the tears that spring to my eyes as I know that this isn’t going to end the way we hoped. We knew this was a possibility. J.R. prepared us, Will preparedme.It’s funny, this is directly affecting Will the most, and yet he was talking me off the ledge last night. I didn’t mean to break down…it just happened. The thought of Will losing everything made me sick to my stomach.

My stomach turns again, and I wince, praying that the nausea can be kept at bay until we either recess or the proceedings are over. I take a deep breath and let it out slowly before reaching for the cup of water sitting on the floor under my feet with shaky hands.

“Dr. Montgomery, do you understand what it would mean if we were to revoke your license completely?”

My eyes widen and my teeth find my bottom lip nervously.Revoke? As in…permanently? We were holding onto hope that it would merely be a suspension and he could apply for an appeal after a certain amount of time but revocation is… He can’t be reinstated.

“Yes, Dr. Marks,” I hear him say.

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