Page 72 of Knot All Is Lost: Part 1

“Sorry you don’t get to see until we have the finished product,” Bodhi announced as he scrubbed at my face. “We’ll have the grand reveal shortly.”

My gaze met his, and I gave him an appreciative smile.

“Alright, guess I’ll have to wait for Cambrie to see the surprise I've got for her then too,” Nixon taunted, making my brows shoot up.

“A surprise?” I called.

“Oh no Sweetheart, you have to wait just like I do for the grand reveal,” Nixon pointed out as I heard him walking away.

I looked over at Oscar, and he just shrugged. Of course he wouldn’t know, he’s been with me the whole time. Now I just had to wait.

Losing track of time I sat as the two worked at removing the color from my skin. For the tough spots Bodhi had to pull out the rubbing alcohol and cotton balls to get the last of it off. Once finished he began the arduous task of combing through my hair. It was thick and wavy, but now that I’d been using much better shampoo and conditioner, it was getting softer and more manageable.

“How do you feel about me giving you a trim?” Bodhi asked. “I’ve been doing it for Oscar since I moved in. It’s easier for me to do it since he can tell me what he wants directly. If you’re not interested though that’s fine, it was just an offer.”

Looking at him I tried to remember the last time I’d had my hair cut by anyone other than my mom. “Sure, it’s been forever since it’s been looked after, so I’m sure it needs some help. Just, please don’t take too much. I like my hair long.”

“We like your hair long too,” Bodhi said, kissing my cheek. “Selfishly I wouldn't have cut more than an inch or two off even if you’d asked me to.”

Reassured that he wasn’t going to go crazy I sat backward on the toilet and let him work his magic. He clipped up part of my hair, and the snick of the scissors lulled me into a trance as I enjoyed the feel of him playing with my hair. Once he was done, Oscar took over with the blow dryer and diffuser after he scrunched in some mousse. Never in my life had I felt so pampered as I did right now. These men were taking care of me in ways I didn’t know I’d been starving for. Touch used to be the one thing I feared the most in life, never having had a good experience with it. Now, with these five men at least, it was all I wanted, never getting enough.

“Nice work Oz, you magical wizard,” Bodhi murmured before pecking the Alpha’s lips.

Oscar seemed to glow under the attention, a smile grew before he caught Bodhi by the back of the neck and kissed the hell out of him. It was clear that while these two didn’t know exactly where they stood, they wanted each other desperately. When they broke apart, breathing heavily, grinning like fools I couldn’t help but chuckle.

“How is it you managed not to realize you loved each other before now?” I asked, spinning around to stare at them.

Bodhi blinked at me, a little confused, then looked at Oscar. “Wait…hold on here. No one said anything about love, we haven’t even decided if we’re dating. This could just be lusting after each other… right?” Bodhi asked, looking back at me.

Reaching out a hand to him I let him pull me to my feet, then wrapped my arms around his waist. “I get how scary it is to admit that you have deeper feelings for someone. Rafael told me he loved me today, and I didn’t know what to say or even if I truly understood what love meant. Then as I looked at him, I imagined him out of my life, never being able to see him again, and it broke something in me.” I peered up at Bodhi. “That has to be what love is, right? To feel you won’t ever be whole without that person in your life.”

Hazel eyes gazed down at me full of fear, excitement, and hope. “You think so, Cambi?”

I shrugged and twisted to look at Oscar. “What do you think?”

He smiled at us with eyes glowing with happiness as he signed his answer. Bodhi’s sharp intake of breath told me Oscar wasn’t holding back on how he was feeling anymore. That wall had been broken between the two of them and they were in a new section of their relationship but I knew there had to be love involved.

“He said that’s exactly what he thinks love is like, finding yourself becoming a better person just because they are around. Challenging each other and knowing no matter how badly you quarrel they would be willing to mend things in the end,” Bodhi translated, his words filled with the awe I myself was feeling.

Bodhi swallowed hard and he looked down at me. “If that’s what love is, then I think I might be falling in love with more than one person.”

“I might be falling in love with five,” I whispered. “It’s a really strange feeling.”

Bodhi grinned and hugged me tightly. “Okay, enough of the mushy let’s get out of here and get you dressed for the big reveal.”

Oscar swung the bathroom door open, and when we stepped out, I found a pile of clothes on the ground with a note.

Sorry Sweetheart, you can’t go into your room without all of us.

It didn’t take much guessing to figure out it was from Nixon. The message made me think of spotting him going into my room as we headed up. Is the surprise in there? Shaking my head out of my daydreams, I picked up the clothes and stepped back in to change. The white leggings were so soft and the top was a soft blush pink with flowy ruffles. It was so soft and feminine looking I wasn’t sure I could wear it. Stepping in front of the full-length mirror on the back of the bathroom door, I gazed at myself and gasped.

My hair fell in soft, shiny, teal waves down my back and over one shoulder. The pink accented the teal perfectly and added warmth to my skin. With the shirt being so flowy you couldn’t tell just how skinny I was, even though in a week you couldn’t see my bones as easily. In the mirror stood a woman, not the girl who’d escaped her father, eyes wide with fear, covered in bruises. This is what an Omega who was cherished by her pack looked like and I couldn’t hold back my smile.

Flush with confidence I wasn’t sure would stick, I headed out of the bathroom and into the loft space. The guys all sat on the couches fresh from showers and in clean clothes with a hint of tiredness in their eyes. A tiredness that fled the moment their eyes landed on me and my new look.

“Holy fuck,” Nixon exclaimed.

Unsure if that was a good or a bad sign I paused, dropping my gaze the courage I felt fleeing just as quickly as it came. Could I have made things worse between Nixon and me?

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