Page 33 of Knot All Is Lost: Part 1

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“Bodhiisworkingon breakfast so why don’t you take some time to get ready for the day before you come down?” Rafael suggested as we both got to our feet. “This will give you a moment to collect yourself before joining us. I brought up the clothes we gathered at the shelter but we will get you others since you can’t live with only one set of clothes.”

My eyes grew wide. “I can’t pay you for anything. I have no money right now. I’ll find a job soon and then I’ll be able to get some more clothes. I can make it work with what I have now and whatever the shelter gave me.”

Rafael crossed his arms and looked down at me with disapproval. “Little One, I understand this concept is going to be a hard one for you to accept but we are a pack. Half the money we earn goes into a communal fund to take care of things needed within the pack. If any of us are short on money or need something and can’t afford it, then we pull from the pack fund. You have been asked to be part of this pack and if you truly mean what you said about joining us, then that fund applies to you.”

Fidgeting I looked down at the floor and worried my lower lip. Rafael cleared his throat and I instantly stopped chewing on it knowing he wasn’t happy about it. “You said everyone puts money in, then they can take money out… I haven’t put any money in.”

“Bodhi doesn’t put money in either right now. He works with Oscar, does chores around the house, and pitches in where he can because he chooses to go to school instead of working. He’s getting a degree in audio production so that he can partner with Oscar, and one day they will both run the business together,” Rafael shared. “I believe that is what we will suggest for you, to finish getting your GED and then see if maybe college might be something you’re interested in.”

My head snapped up, my mouth hanging open in shock. “Can I really do that? I thought Omegas weren’t allowed to go to college, that they had to stay with their pack.”

“Get ready for the day and we can talk about it over breakfast. There are many ways to work around things. What I want you to promise me is that you will keep an open mind, and think about what you want to do with your life other than being an Omega. It is your designation, but not your whole identity, Cambrie.” Rafael pointed out as he gave me a warm smile and headed for the door. “We’ll also need to get this room set up for you to use. This is your space now to do with as you please,” he called out as he shut the door behind him.

I sat down on the end of the bed stunned by what just happened in that conversation. They wanted me to stay! I could really have a pack, a family of my own. Does that mean Marius talked to the CoF and got them to approve me to be here? How could he have gotten an answer so fast?

Shaking my head I decided not to worry about it, they asked me to work on trusting them. This was a good place to start and take them at their word. I wandered into the bathroom and brushed my teeth, combed my hair and braided it, then looked over the clothes the shelter had given me.

I found a pair of black leggings that I slipped on, they were a little loose but I’m not sure anything would fit how skinny I was. Next, I pulled on the white tank top and a giant striped sweater in grays and teals. It was clearly meant for a person more filled out than I was but the softness on my skin had me instantly loving it. The sleeves went well past my fingers but I just bunched them up until they were free. It hung to mid thigh so it was almost like wearing a dress. It made me smile knowing that I wasn’t going to be cold. Lastly, there was a pair of white soft looking slippers with floppy bunny ears.

I picked one up and looked and then giggling at how cute they were, there was even a little pink nose right at the toe. These couldn’t have been at the shelter, they look far too nice. Did someone go out and get them? When would they have had time to do that? Regardless of how they got to me, I was delighted to wear them. They fit perfectly and the sturdy bottoms on them protected my poor feet from any more damage. Ready as I was going to be for the day I headed out of the room… Stopping, I turned around and looked at the space before me.

This was mine.

Rafael said this could be my room to do with as I wanted. Never had I been given the chance to decorate a room before. It had always come down to what we could afford or what we found others were throwing out. But this time I might actually be able to find a few things to put my mark on the space.

A warm feeling filled my chest as I walked down the stairs, almost like I was in a daze. How in the world did this happen? In less than a day, I went from living each day praying I might survive to the next to thinking about what future I wanted. They were encouraging me to get my GED and possibly go to college. What would I want to do?

I halted at the base of the first floor stairs, stuck on that thought. Once, so long ago, I remember my mom asking me what I wanted to be when I grew up. Of course I’d told her I wanted to be a princess like the books I’d read but after Mom died I don’t think I dreamed like that anymore. The future at that point was making it to the next day, week, turning eighteen so I could get away. Now it seemed like everything was possible again.

“Cambrie?” Marius called, bringing me back to reality. “Are you alright? You seem a little lost.”

“Oh… ah…,” I faltered, tugging at the sleeves of my sweater, dropping my gaze to the fluffy slippers. “I…I’m sorry for how I behaved this morning. It was wrong of me to yell at Bodhi like that.”

I felt him coming closer, his heady scent getting stronger. Now that I knew what to expect it wasn’t nearly as overwhelming as it had been last night. A finger slid under my chin and pressed upwards urging me to look at him.

“There you are,” he said with a soft smile. “Don’t hide those beautiful eyes from us Princess, they help us know what you’re thinking.”

My cheeks flamed with heat at his words and the look he gave me. The feeling people talk about where it’s like butterflies in your stomach had to feel like this. Something about feeling seen by these Alphas had me feeling all sorts of new emotions.

“Now as to what you were saying about Bodhi. While I understand that you’re apologetic for the situation, I believe he’s the one you need to talk to, not me,” Marius pointed out. “Come on, let me show you where he’s at,” he offered, holding out his hand.

Part of me felt it was a little odd that they always wanted to touch me but another craved the feeling. I slid my hand into his and let him show me through the living room we’d been in last night, past a swinging door into a giant kitchen. Everything was oversized, stainless steel, and professional looking. There at the stove, wearing a black apron, was Bodhi flipping pancakes.

“I’ll leave you to it then,” Marius whispered in my ear as he squeezed my hand and left the same way he entered.

“I told you I don’t need any help with breakfast,” Bodhi snapped. “You want to be helpful Spencer, go find out if she likes chocolate chips or not. I’m sure Rafael will manage to fix the fuck up I’ve made out of this morning for the second time.” He slammed down a pan making me jump. “God damn it, why can’t I ever be fucking normal? Why do I have to lash out at people like that? You know what, don’t answer that, I don’t need another therapy session right now.”

“It’s been years since I’ve had chocolate chips in my pancakes,” I whispered, not moving from where I was in case I needed to leave quickly. “I think it would be fun to have them again, I remember liking it, but who doesn’t like chocolate?”

Bodhi froze, then slowly turned around to look at me letting his gaze linger over my body. “Cambi…”

“Wait please,” I cut in, holding out my hand to stop him speaking. “I need to apologize for what I said to you. While I don’t approve of how you treated Oscar there was absolutely no reason for me to yell at you the way I did. My temper gets the better of me when I feel someone is being bullied. I know you care a lot about Oscar, and Rafael is trying to help me understand that not all fighting or arguments between people are bad. I know I have a long way to go but I would really like to work on being someone who could be a good friend to you… if you want me to be your friend.” Now that I’d said everything I needed to, I felt awkward and picked at my sleeves.

I heard the clattering of some pans, followed by the slap of bare feet on the tile floor, then arms surrounded me pulling me against an apron covered chest. I waited for my body to react to betray me and freak out at this clearly well meant interaction but nothing happened. His clean fresh pine scent surrounded me, making me feel like I was out in a forest after the rain had purified the world from its grime. Excitement welled up as I returned his hug, making him stiffen a moment before he rested his head on top of mine.

“The one who needs to apologize is me,” Bodhi whispered. “The guys were right, I’m not a pleasant morning person but I wanted your first morning with us to be a good one, and I ruined it. I know Oscar would never do something to hurt me, but in my broken brain I was so worried he might say something to make you think poorly of me. I’m not a great friend to have but I would love to try and be the best friend I can be for you.”

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