Page 25 of Knot All Is Lost: Part 1

Oscar’s scent this close was intoxicating and all I wanted to do was curl up against him. I could hear his fingers moving and the phone’s vibrations as it confirmed what he’d pressed. My eyes drifted closed and my head landed on his shoulder. Both of us froze for a moment before I started to pull back. Instead, he placed a gentle hand on my head urging me to leave it where it was. My body was too tired to fight and my mind was finally quiet as I rested here.

Maybe he wouldn’t mind if we stayed like this for a bit.

A soft melody filled the air, it carried echoes of sadness in the notes that pulled at my heartstrings. It was as if whoever wrote this song was lost and alone, but as it continued it seemed to blossom into something that had more happiness. It wasn’t like the classical music Nixon was listening to, this had more soul as if someone’s raw emotions were poured into it. The pain, sadness, and loneliness that they felt translated into music. Then as this person found their way, the pain lessened, they weren’t alone anymore which lifted the sadness. There was still that lingering pain that I’m not sure anyone would be able to be rid of but there was hope.

“That’s beautiful, what kind of music is that?” I murmured.

A tap on my arm had me opening my eyes to see the screen of his phone. There, scrolling along the bottom under the title of artist was Oscar’s name. Shifting back I looked at him in amazement. “You wrote that?”

He nodded, a smile tugging at his lips. Shifting the screen to a list of names I realized were songs that he’d written. I trailed my finger across the screen to scroll through the list, but it went on and on. Some were written by him alone, while others had a few artists listed.

“Can we listen to them all?” I asked, scrolling back up to the top. “I want to hear everything you have to say.”

That had him pause a moment flipping to his notepad to write out what he wanted to say.

What do you mean you want to hear what I have to say? There are no words in these songs, only instruments.

“You don’t need words to hear when someone puts their heart and soul into a song,” I pointed out. “That song I just listened to, did you write it before coming to live here?”

He nodded, watching me intently searching for something in my expression.

“It might not be obvious to everyone, but someone who has felt all those feelings as intensely as you and I have, understands them even without words. There’s no way I couldn’t hear what echoes in my own heart, I just hope one day I’ll get to the second half where hope exists again,” I sighed, curling up against him, needing the knowledge I wasn’t alone right now.

Do you want me to stay?

“I couldn’t ask you to do that. You need to get sleep. I’m sure there’s lots you have to do tomorrow. Besides I think I’ve disrupted your lives enough for one night,” I answered, yawning, trying to find the will to pull away from him and get back into bed.

Then his phone was nudged into my hand.

How about I stay till you fall asleep, then I’ll go to bed. I just want to make sure you feel safe.

“Okay, just until I fall asleep,” I answered.

Oscar tucked his phone into his sweatpants and scooped me up. He settled me into bed pulling the covers up, tucking me in like Mom used to when I was little. Turning off the lamp he sat beside me leaning on the headboard, tucking an extra pillow behind his back. I curled up on my side so my head was resting against his hip as I tucked my hands under my chin letting out a tired sigh. His fingers gently brushed my hair out of my face as I nuzzled into his warmth.

“Goodnight Oscar,” I murmured.

Before drifting off I could have sworn I heard him whisper. “Goodnight, Little Star.”

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