Page 18 of Knot All Is Lost: Part 1

“Teh,” Oscar uttered as he waved for my attention. He tapped the Beta’s arm he was sitting next to and signed something.

“Yeah it’s cool,” he answered. “Um, I’m Bodhi, by the way, and Oscar has a few questions he’d like to ask.” Oscar nodded, giving me a warm smile as he raised his hands but Bodhi stopped him. “Look, I want to make one thing perfectly clear. There is nothing wrong with Oscar, he has no vocal cords because he got super sick, so he can’t speak. Everything else about him is just fine, he’s not slow or anything so don’t treat him like he is.”

Oscar whacked him on the back of the head and signed angrily at him, his disapproval over what Bodhi just did incredibly obvious.

“No, don’t be upset with him Oscar, he was protecting you. I will never fault a person who looks out for those they care about. In fact, I’m glad he told me. I wasn’t sure how to ask if you were deaf or how I should interact in a way that would be best for you…” I cringed and covered my mouth looking at the others. “Was that rude of me to say?” I squeaked out.

Oscar shook his head and touched his chin, then lowered his hand palm up.

“That means thank you,” Bodhi shared. “If you’re going to be staying here you’re going to need to learn how to sign. For Oscar, that’s how he feels most comfortable being able to communicate, other than email, but that would be stupid in the same house.”

My lips twitched trying to hide my smile even though I could hear the humor in Bodhi’s voice. “What questions did Oscar have for me?”

Bodhi waited a moment as Oscar shared this question and Bodhi responded as if to confirm something. Confident he nodded and they both turned to me. “What do you know about the importance of scent between an Alpha and an Omega? His second question ties into that as to what you actually know about being an Omega.”

If I got them wrong would they ask me to leave? Was this a test? How do I even begin to try and answer these questions? Is there supposed to be a right answer? I told them I didn’t go to school, should I have learned that by the time I was ten?

“Dove, take a breath,” Spencer said, his voice cutting into my spiraling thoughts bringing me back to the moment.

“Cambrie, can you tell me what just went on in your head?” Marius asked, having turned to face me.

I dropped my eyes and bit my lip ashamed that I lost myself so easily to my fear. Is this who I was now? To be turned into a quivering mess the moment I thought someone might be upset with me?

“Hey, don’t get lost on me,” Marius cautioned, his hand resting on mine. “Can I, would it help if Rafael sat with you again? As an Omega to have an Alpha close by can help ground you, make you feel more secure if you trust them. Spencer is wonderful at being comforting and soothing, but I think you need a little more than that right now,” Marius shared, having seen me glance at Spencer and guessed my thoughts.

“I have a better idea, instead of sitting on the floor, why not just join us up here? Then she gets the best of both worlds, a cuddly Beta buddy and the overprotective Alpha,” Spencer suggested.

Marius looked at me hopefully as I realized they were letting me decide what I wanted to do. “I would like Spencer to stay, and I think you’d feel better sitting up here with us instead of letting Rafael be so close to your partner.”

“Little One, have you ever done a selfish thing in your life?” Rafael asked.

“Once,” I answered, looking up at him. “I tried to run on my sixteenth birthday. I was going to be selfish and live my own life instead of doing what I should have. If I’d been the daughter my mom raised me to be and followed the rules instead of dreaming of a life out of a storybook, I wouldn’t have been locked away for two years.”

Sadness filled Rafael’s expression as he regarded me. “None of that is true Little One. It’s not your fault. None of this has ever been your fault. Your father is in charge of his own actions. Nothing you did would ever warrant him treating you that way. Instead of taking you out of school, hurting you, belittling you, and making you feel unworthy, he should have loved the beautiful person you are. I’ve only just met you, and I can see how pure your heart is despite all you’ve been through. Give us time Cambrie, we will show you what it means to be cherished and cared for.”

How I ached for that to be true. There was nothing more I wanted in life than to have a pack like those I’ve read about in books. At first glance, this group of men seemed to be the type that could make that happen with all their kind words and comforting gestures. What scared me even more was not knowing if I could stay with them.

Marius stood and, without preamble, scooped me up so he could sit on the loveseat and placed me so I was half sitting on him and half on Spencer. I waited for my fear response to kick in seeing as our initial meeting wasn’t all that great but it didn’t. My feelings were cautious of what was going on but not scared or panicked. Spencer snuggled against Marius and placed a chaste kiss on his partner’s lips before adjusting me into a more comfortable spot with his arm behind Marius, playing with his hair and another around my waist.

“Yes, this is perfect, isn’t it, Dove?” Spencer asked, looking pleased.

“Now back to Oscar’s questions, Cambrie,” Marius interjected, bringing us full circle. “This is just so we understand what you know about yourself, Alphas, and packs. It could be knowledge you already possess so we don’t go over things unnecessarily.”

Nodding I looked at Oscar, seeing as he was the one who’d asked. “You asked about scent. I know that it is one thing we use to identify each other since they are unique to each person. They also match personality, designation, and give us a sense of whether or not we will like them. If you don’t care for their scent, I’ve found you don’t care for the person in general.”

Oscar nodded and seemed to think about my answer before signing. “The basics of what you said are correct, that is how most people use and perceive scent in the world. When it comes to an Omega, there is another layer tied to a deeper level of emotion. If you don’t mind me asking, has our scent impacted you differently than others?” Bodhi translated.

Unconsciously I chewed on my thumbnail as I decided how I was going to answer. Do I risk being honest? What if this is how I react to all Alphas and not just them? They are the first Alphas I’ve spent time with since I discovered I was an Omega.

A hand grasped mine, gently tugging it away from my mouth. Marius intertwined our fingers as he pulled it back to kiss my poor, gnawed on, digit. Shifting, I glanced at him as he just held my hand with his lips pressed to the skin.

When he saw me staring, he gave me a rueful smile. “I couldn’t watch you hurt yourself any longer, I’m sorry.” He didn’t pull my hand away so as he spoke his lips brushed my skin making an odd tingling sensation in my stomach.

Clearing my throat, I pushed aside that feeling as I answered. “The only Alphas I’ve interacted with since becoming an Omega have been the four of you. Nixon set me at ease even though I was so afraid to get in his car.” I spoke to him as I said this, wanting him to know. “As I stood outside the open door of that car, not knowing what would happen once I got in it. The pull of his scent is what convinced me it was the right choice.” Then my gaze moved to the Alpha still standing guard beside the couch. “Rafael… he’s just safe. From the moment I met him, even though I didn’t show it, and every time he holds me it’s as if nothing in the world can touch me. It’s a feeling I don’t know that I’ve experienced since Mom died.”

Pausing I decided to shift my attention to Oscar, he was easier to explain. “You and I don’t know each other at all, but your scent tells me you will be someone special to me. Everything about your scent reminds me of the happiest moments of my life. It’s warm, inviting, and for some reason, I really want a hug from you. I don’t normally like when men touch me, even by accident.”

Now that left me with Marius, the man whose lap I was sitting on while he held my hand. Lifting my gaze to his I could see how desperate he was to hear what I had to say. “While we didn’t get off to the best start, your scent was always honest about who you really are. It’s strong, dominant, and all encompassing like the roar of a lion, yet makes me feel like I’m wrapped up in a warm wool blanket. It will battle the cold, keeping me safe and warm while knowing I can trust you to lead the way.”

Bodhi let out an impressive whistle as he sat back against the couch. “That’s wicked impressive Cambrie. By their scent alone you all but pegged their personalities to a T. When I catch their scents I get most of what you’re saying but nothing near the level of depth you clearly have.”

“Do you know why that is, Sweetheart?” Nixon asked.

“No, I didn’t know I could smell something different from anyone else,” I admitted.

Nixon smiled and nodded. “That makes sense since it seems you haven’t been educated on what it’s like to be an Omega. Back before the attack by the EQ, Omegas were allowed to pick their packs. There would be interviews, and packs would send in scent cards for the Omegas to smell. With that alone an Omega could tell if they were a good fit or not. They would either find it appealing or immediately turn up their nose.” He grimaced and ran a hand through his hair in irritation. “Of course now there is no choice, so that practice has been done away with. The interesting thing is that Alphas respond the same way the Omegas do. When your perfume finally came out, it hit Raf and I like a ton of bricks in the best way possible.”

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