Page 12 of Knot All Is Lost: Part 1

seven

Thewaterfeltso nice and warm as I slipped my feet into the basin Spencer brought. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d had the chance to wash anything in warm water. Feeling it now made me realize just how cold I was and a shiver wracked my body, clattering my teeth at the force of it.

“Are you cold? Here, I grabbed a blanket and forgot to give it to you,” Nixon muttered as he shook out the soft looking blue fabric. “Here you go Cambrie, I’m an idiot for not making sure you were warm after I made you take off your jacket.”

He started to move as if he was going to place the blanket around my shoulders but stopped as my head ducked down to avoid the blow my brain assumed was coming. Nixon took a step back letting me have some space until my body relaxed somewhat.

“Would you rather me hand it to you?” he questioned, his brow creased as if he was trying hard to solve this problem.

Licking my cracked lips I sat up a little straighter forcing myself not to shy away from his gaze as I looked at him. “I’m sorry, I just wasn’t ready for it.”

Pity crossed his face for a moment before he wiped it away, just looking sad. “You don’t need to apologize, sweetheart. I should have asked before acting. You have every right to feel or respond in any way you do. Life so far hasn’t shown you there is much kindness out there to experience. Now would it be easier if I stood beside you and put the blanket around you?”

“I guess we can try,” I answered with a shrug.

Moving slowly but with purpose, Nixon stood beside me and draped the blanket around my shoulders making sure it covered all of my back. The whole time he made sure not to actually touch me. Having him this close I got a good whiff of his scent, I couldn’t help but take a deep breath. Closing my eyes I let the sweet, smoky scent surround me, making me think of the olden days when men went to cigar clubs and drank scotch, playing cards while chatting with their fellow men.

One way I survived the cold, dark basement for so long was by reliving all the books I read and creating stories of my own. By allowing my brain to live in the fictional world, blurring out the reality I survived. In my stories though, I was the heroine fighting the dragons, going on quests, being the chosen one to save the world, and falling in love with dashing men who loved me.

My head made contact with something soft and warm, while the intoxicating aroma got stronger. Instantly my eyes snapped open. While I’d been lost in my own thoughts my body had gravitated toward Nixon and my head ended up in his lap. He sat on the edge of the desk my chair was backed up to and I was now sitting sideways so my head could rest on his thighs. I started to lift my head but a hand softly stroked my hair followed by a purring that instantly put me at ease. My feet were no longer in the warm water but it didn’t matter, not while Nixon purred for me.

Images of things I’ve read in books popped into my head of sweet moments like this between Omegas and their Alphas. I’d never once expected to find an Alpha who would purr for me. I’d always believed that Alphas in this day and age didn’t care for their Omegas, only seeing them as an object of status or power. We were to be bred and produce more Omegas, while allowing a pack to bond and grow their power through the magical connection we created. Yet here I was having experienced two separate Alphas treat me with kindness and care, gracing me with the gift of their purr.

What would happen next? They wanted to take me to their home where it sounded like more men lived. Did I have a choice in the matter? The way they talked made me think I didn’t. Nixon had said one of his pack members had a connection to the CoF, which meant they would have to send me away to a government facility. It was the law and to break the law meant death.

After the attack by the terrorists the CoF cracked down on any kind of perceived rebellion to ensure something like that never happened again. These men so far had been kind to me, I wouldn’t want them risking death if it was found out they were hiding me. No matter how relaxed my body was, my mind raced with worry, flipping through every horrible thing that could happen. Nothing about this escape had gone how I planned, not that I had much choice. The number one goal though had been to escape the notice of Alphas—clearly, I’d failed in that endeavor.

A soft knock sounded on the door, the sound had me snapping my head up and out of the relaxed state I’d been in. Nixon stood and placed his hand on the back of my neck stroking a thumb along my throat. “It’s all right, Sweetheart, it’s just Spencer and Rafael returning.”

Feeling his touch should have triggered me with how alert I already was but it didn’t. In fact, my instinct was to lean into it so I could nuzzle my cheek along his bare arm now that he’d rolled up his sleeves.

In walked Rafael with a bowl of something that smelled amazing and hot if the curls of steam were any signal. Spencer shut the door behind him and locked it making me panic, my breath coming quicker, as the fear of being locked away in here took over my brain.

“Sweetheart,” Nixon murmured, moving his hand to cup my chin and forced me to look at him. His eyes searched my face, his frown grew deeper.

Had I upset him?

Would he hit me now?

Did they really intend to help me or had they been lying to get me to let my guard down so they could trap me into a bond with them?

“Cambrie,” Nixon barked, making me flinch, recoiling from the command. “I need you to take a deep breath, in through your nose out through your mouth.”

What?

“Please don’t make me use my bark on you again, Sweetheart. In through the nose…” Nixon instructed, taking a deep breath.

Keeping my eyes locked on him I followed his example. When he exhaled I did the same, together we did this three or four times until the tightness in my chest eased.

Had I been so panicked I wasn’t breathing?

“There’s a good girl,” Nixon praised, giving me a soft smile and letting the back of his finger brush down my cheek. “Can you share with us what triggered that panic attack?” he asked, coming to kneel next to me.

Licking my lips I glanced at the others who seemed just as worried about what just happened. “He locked the door. I was trapped again. What if I can’t get out for another two years? I don’t think I could survive being imprisoned like that again.”

Spencer slowly approached to squat next to his Alpha. “Oh Cambrie, I’m so sorry. I thought I was helping to make you feel safe knowing that no one else could get in here. Would you like me to unlock the door?”

“Please, I… I just don’t feel I can trust a locked door right now,” I answered, my bottom lip quivered as I fought back my fear.

---