Page 44 of How To Woo A Wallflower

When she came to, he was smiling, the tip of his nose nuzzling hers gently, but his eyes smouldered with so much desire it re-awoke her body in an instant. In case he thought this was it, she had to let him know. ‘I still want all of you, Jasper. So very much...’ She did not recognise the sultry timbre of her own voice or her assured and bold touch, yet did not hesitate to be the one to reach between them this time and boldly trace the shape of him before she began to unbutton his falls with impatient fingers. ‘Every last inch.’

Those unusual green eyes instantly darkened to almost black before he smothered her mouth with a kiss so carnal it left her both breathless and desperate for him again. ‘Then we had best get these clothes off.’ In one fluid motion, his flattened palm smoothed her stocking down her thigh to her calf.

Then he froze.

Jasper stared down at Hattie in a mixture of insatiable need and sheer horror, completely torn in two.

Good grief, what had he done!

The guilt weighed so heavy he could barely breathe. She had come to him overwrought and vulnerable, needing a friend in her greatest hour of need and instead of being her rock as she had always been his, he had seduced her! Put his needs above hers and taken advantage with shameless abandon.

He wasn’t entirely sure how things had gone so far or quite which of them had instigated it. One minute he had been sound asleep, dreaming about making love to her and the next she had been in the throes of ecstasy, by which time and undeniably wide awake and out of control, he had needed to witness the unadulterated, erotic beauty of that happening.

Somewhere in between, he had lost the ability to think and now she was sprawled beneath him on the chesterfield in his office. Her hair a tangled mess around her head, her mouth swollen from his ardent kisses, one perfect breast exposed to his hungry gaze alongside the damp, golden curls between her open thighs. The errant, ungentlemanly hand which had brought her to a shuddering, noisy climax still hovering on the stocking he had almost ripped to shreds in his blind, animalistic passion and his painful erection jutting against her fingers through his half-opened falls and positively screaming for release.

He snatched his hand away and fisted it in case it was tempted to finish what it had started, took a deep breath and slowly rolled his body away, then sat on the edge of the chesterfield with his back to her. His head in his hands and his heart in his mouth.

‘Jasper?’ Hattie reached out and trailed her hand down his rumpled shirt, stoking his unsatisfied lust further when he was trying to dampen it down. ‘What did I do wrong?’ The hurt in her voice broke his heart and added to his guilt. ‘Has something displeased you?’

‘Of course not... You were perfect but...’ Her touch was killing him. The urge to haul her into his arms and decisively finish what he had started was making it impossible to think straight, so he leapt up to save them both. ‘This isn’t right.’

‘Why?’ Her wounded eyes dropped to where his breeches strained, his manhood throbbing like a traitor beneath her gaze. ‘Don’t you want me any more?’

He choked out a bitter laugh as he gestured to the undeniable evidence to the contrary. ‘What I want and what I deserve right now are two very different things.’ Ashamed, he stood and used the back of a chair to hide behind in case his body refused to comply with his head. ‘What I deserve is shooting for taking of advantage of you.’

‘You really didn’t, Jasper.’ She pulled her stocking back up before she struggled to sit thanks to her hopelessly twisted skirts, rucked tight and trapped beneath her hips. ‘I can assure you that I didn’t mind in the slightest.’

He struggled to speak.

Struggled to answer with anything coherent because his head and his body had gone to war. He knew that he couldn’t, in all good conscience, take advantage of her further but...she was like a siren tempting him. He had never wanted a woman more than he wanted Hattie in this precise moment. He could still taste her kiss, feel the potency of her desire. Still see the vaguest hint of her swollen sex beneath those inviting wheaten curls as she wrestled with her knotted clothing.

He sincerely doubted he would ever forget the sight or the sounds of her surrendering to her orgasm, or the sublime feel of the silken walls of her body convulsing against his fingers. Because his Hattie had approached her pleasure with the same single-minded enthusiasm as she approached everything—head first and to hell with the consequences.

But he did not have that luxury.

He had to think of the consequences—for her. Because he was wholly in the wrong here and he could not live with himself if he ruined her life, as he had Cora’s, by putting his needs first. Especially when, if he gave in to them, all of the dire consequences of it would be hers to bear.

The stigma of complete ruination. The disappointment of her family. Denying her the right and the time to decide if he could be the one once the dust had settled. Trapping her in a marriage which might very well suit him but might not ultimately suit her. Instantly becoming a mother to a child which wasn’t hers, and inevitably, if he gave in to the temptation to make her his in every sense of the word, perhaps to even have to deal with the immediate prospect of their own baby in her belly. And all because he couldn’t control his desire for her when she had come to him in distress.

‘This is too soon, Hattie. Just weeks. It has happened too fast. We...’ he shook his head, needing to own the blame for it all ‘...you are not ready for this.’

‘But, Jasper...’

He vehemently shook his head because he could not allow her to make him feel better. He deserved all the guilt he currently felt. Deserved it and needed it to help him do what was right. ‘We’ve only just started to get to know one another and rushing through the different phases of love...’ The intensity of his erection made it hard to pace, but he did anyway, hoping against hope that it might make it subside and cease controlling him.

‘Well, it’s like your milestones, is what it is...those phases cannot be rushed no matter how keen I am to get to the final destination and I certainly shouldn’t have taken advantage of you just now when you came to me for comfort.’

His eyes latched on to her breast again so he winced and turned away, gesturing ineffectually with a flapping hand. ‘For the love of God, cover yourself, woman, and give me a fighting chance here, when I am trying to be a gentleman.’

‘I think that ship has sailed, don’t you?’ She padded behind him and wrapped her arms around his waist. ‘And good riddance to it, so why don’t we finish what we just started?’

It would have been so easy to succumb. So easy to swivel in her arms and lose himself and his guilt in her kiss. Carry her back to the sofa and bury his needy body to the hilt inside her and to hell with the consequences, but Jasper couldn’t.

Wouldn’t.

Not until his scandal had passed and she was truly certain he was worth it. He loved her too much to live with her regret and was saddled with quite enough guilt already of his own.

‘You are in no fit state to make such a decision today and if we are to have a future together, and I hope with all my heart that we do, it will not happen because I forced your hand.’

Good grief! He loved her!

Loved her!

Which meant that not only was his head spinning but the floor had just been ripped from beneath his feet.

‘But, Jasper...’

He stayed her with a lacklustre shake of the head, the flimsy control over his urges and with it, all his good intentions, too close to shattering at the slightest temptation. ‘The most sensible thing to do right now is to try to carry on as if this never happened.’ Jasper turned and without looking back, walked on leaden feet to the door because for him, forgetting this before he lapsed into aged senility would take a blasted miracle. ‘Repair your clothing and I’ll meet you downstairs. I am sure poor Jim is counting the seconds until he sees you again.’

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