Page 672 of Love Bites

You must embrace both beasts as part of you. You must be both.

Fundamentally, I understood what he was asking, but Ruth had been right when she said that we had one form and one form only. How in the hell was I going to be both?

It is in you, Chavvah Trimmel. You have been both. Your coyote is still there. It just needs to be found again.

Won’t the wolf run off then?

No. I will not allow it.

Well, la-di-da.I hated to admit it, but once again, the voice in my head, the one I now knew as Brother Wolf, had given me hope. I concentrated on my coyote, searching for her. I felt a nudge, but it wasn’t her. It was the wolf.This isn’t working.

You are not a quitter or a coward, child.

So now I was his child?

When you act like one, yes.

I hadn’t meant for him to hear me whine. Frustration, fear, and shame boiled to the surface, and I fought like hell to keep the three counter-productive emotions in check. I fought for courage, searching my mind and my soul, for lack of a better word, to find what I hadn’t even known I’d been missing.Where are you, Coyote? I need you.

I could feel the tickle of a presence, different from the wolf, but still not within my reach.

I need you. You are a part of me.

I squeezed my eyes shut and licked my dry lips, once again, exerting my thoughts to find her.

I blinked. I could move my eyes now. I’d licked my lips. The drug was wearing off. I threw all of my emotions behind my silent plea.Come to me. Join with me. Billy Bob had said I’d turned into a timber wolf. How long had it been since I’d shifted into coyote form? How long had I been without her and hadn’t even noticed?

Since the full moon before my kidnapping. A year ago. Son-of-a-bitch. No wonder I had an empty place inside me. I’d created it. In accepting the wolf, I’d pushed aside my first form.I’m sorry. I told her.I’m so sorry for leaving you behind.

A soft whimper startled me. Me. I’d whimpered. Tears wet my cheeks. I could move my index fingers and my thumbs now. When my toes began to wiggle, I breathed deeply, fighting to keep a hold of both wolf and coyote. All the time I’d been captive, all the awful things those men did to me, I refused to transform. I refused to be part of their games. I’d buried my coyote, and she was having a hell of a time finding her way back. Brother Wolf said I needed them both.

I focused on the energy building around me. I accepted who I am. What I am. I’d wanted to live in the therian world. I’d wanted the community, but still, I’d resisted fully embracing my shifter side. Why did I hold back? Why was I so afraid to let go?

I could hear my mom’s words, “We’re not animals, Chav. We’re human beings, forced to live like animals on the full moon.” I thought she was wrong. I had never agreed with her about what we were. So, why did I only change when it was forced on me? I could be shifting every day, but other than when I’d been afraid two nights earlier, I’d only shifted on full moons when my beast could be in charge.

I concentrated on how good it had felt to transform into a wolf the second time that night, how the night air ruffled my fur, the scent of freshly blossomed wild roses, and Billy Bob. I remembered how safe he made me feel, even on four paws. My brain skipped forward to last night when he’d told me he loved me. When he proved it in so many ways how much he wanted me, and how I was the only one he wanted. Not Sunny. Not Bethany. Me.

My skin began to vibrate as I let his love fill me. As I embraced everything it meant to be his mate. I was wolf. I was coyote. I was woman. This would not be the end for me. This was not how I would exit this life.

The truck stopped suddenly, and I knew I had precious minutes before my captors came for me. I welcomed my beasts, allowing them to change me, allowing all three of us to become one.

The blood coursing through my arteries sounded as if I’d put a conch shell to my ear. Waves crashing on a shore. Through the noise, I heard a man say in a warped and hard to distinguish voice, “I have her. Don’t call me an idiot. I was careful. No one saw me take her. Too many people watch her, so I took the opportunity. We only have one more day. The sacrifice has to happen before tomorrow’s full moon. And we both know the third sacrifice has to be Chavvah Trimmel. We’ve known for almost a year she would be your salvation. Our deliverance. She was destined for us, and if this works, she will be our last. I’ll call you when I have her prepared, until then, cover for me.”

There were pauses during the conversation that I assumed was the other psycho responding, but even in animal form, the drug made the man sound as if he were talking underwater, and I couldn’t hear the person he talked to at all. It felt weird being without my senses. One thing was certain, there were two of them. Maybe even more. Why did they think they needed me?

I focused on my breathing. I had to keep calm, stay sharp. Stay ready. When the tarp was pulled back, I leaped from my position on the bed, snarling and scratching out with my paws, as my kidnapper fell back, scrambling to get away. I didn’t stick around to fight him. Even with my advantage, he could have a gun, and it was too dark after being pitched under a tarp for who-knew-how-long for my eyes to adjust quickly enough to catch a glimpse of him.

I could hear frantic shouting behind me as I took off deep into the woods. Gun shots rang out, making me glad I ran as quickly as I did. The man had smelled heavily of sassafras, and I promised myself I would force Babe to ban the substance from town if I got out of this alive.

The woods were dense with pines, elms, maples, and oak trees. Rocks, ditches, and underbrush didn’t slow me down as I sprinted as fast as I could in the opposite direction of the killer. The moon was waxing gibbous, not quite full, but it would be tomorrow night. I was thankful I could still think for myself, even though on many levels, I wished my beasts could take over. In my race to get away, I realized I had no idea where I was.

I crossed three small streams, jumped over a few more ditches, some fallen timber, ignoring the smells of squirrels and raccoons (the real ones, not the therian variety), and I didn’t stop until I found myself at the edge of a large lake. I didn’t recognize the area. Densely forested woods and various bodies of water surrounded Peculiar. It had rolling hills and large flat areas. I certainly hadn’t explored them all. Even so, I felt sure I was still in our community’s land. The bridge had been shut down to the town. No one in. No one out.

I stopped and listened, sniffing the night air, drawing in a thousand scents around me, surprised at how easily I could distinguish each one. Having both wolf and coyote in me had its benefits. I didn’t smell any humans. No predators. I waited. Other than a few brave tree frogs and crickets, I heard nothing else coming from the trees. Had I really escaped? Had I really managed to get away from the man who’d planned to make histhird sacrifice?

Without meaning to, I transformed back to my human self. Naked, tired, but finally feeling safe, I let the relief wash over and around me.

You have done well, little wolf.

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