Page 562 of Love Bites

Sierra

“Shit!”Hot coffee sears the skin on the back of my hand, and I throw the ceramic mug into the sink. When it shatters, the sound satisfies me, but when Keith scowls, guilt makes me flush.

His face softens when he realizes what’s upsetting me. “Hey, is he in your head right now?” Keith’s eyes are kind as he reaches for my hand.

Not only is Victor in my head, but I’m so wet right now I might have to go to the bathroom to get myself off. “Yes.” I flinch at Keith’s contact and pull away. How can I let him touch me when right now it’s Victor’s hands my body craves?

This is crazy. Keith is the one I love. I step forward and place my hands on his chest. “I’m sorry.” The worn cotton of his denim shirt is soft under my fingers as I move them down toward his waist. “Can you be a little late for work?”

I don’t wait for his answer and fall to my knees as I tear open his jeans. Keith grabs my head and pushes me gently away as he says, “Don’t. You have nothing to prove to me.”

“What the hell? Now you don’t want me? Because Victor sure does.” I get up and turn away, but not before I see the pain I caused flicker over Keith’s face. Since the morning my orgasm became about Victor, I can’t be with Keith. I’ve been avoiding sex, and Keith has been incredibly patient when I’ve brushed him off with lame excuses.

Keith’s voice is almost a whisper, but my bear hearing picks up every word. “Sierra, you know that’s not it.” I keep walking, and he says, “Wait.”

But I can’t tell him that Victor is winning, and my body is betraying me by wanting a man I loathe while my heart aches for the man I love. Hot tears fall on my cheeks as I move toward the huge glass wall of Keith’s living room.

I lean against the cold window and gaze through blurry eyes at the magical, fairy-kingdom-like back yard Keith created. If only my dreams had come true instead of turning into a nightmare. I break into sobs when I see the clearing we were going to use for our wedding vows, and I imagine how happy we were supposed to be.

The heat from Keith tries to warm me as his hands land on my shoulders, and he gently turns me so he can hold me against his chest. “Shhhh, we’re going to find a way to help you, sweetie. I won’t ever stop trying.”

Oh, Keith. I wish I could believe. I really do.

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