Page 6 of Suddenly a (The St. Clairs 5)

She hesitated. “I can go to my grave happy because I’ve seen four of my grandchildren make a perfect match in finding their soulmates. The great-grandchildren they’ve given me have been a gift too precious for words.”

He shook his head. “If you’re worried about me, Cor, don’t be. Like you, my life is richer for having come into the St. Clair family. You have been my shining star as you guided me into this life I never expected. My good character and beliefs can be laid at your doorstep. Family means a great deal to me—but that doesn’t mean I want one of my own. I enjoy the love and friendship of my brothers and sisters and their spouses. I take delight in my nieces and nephews, especially your namesake, Delia. I don’t want a wife or children of my own, though. I like being able to travel for the work I do for our family. I don’t ever want to be attached to only one woman. I like women far too much to ever stay faithful to one. It wouldn’t be fair to take a wife and leave her alone so often, both physically and emotionally.”

“That’s bloody hogwash,” Cor proclaimed. “I know you’re a good-looking man, Hudson. You’re all St. Clair in looks and charm. But deep down inside, you feel inadequate. Not quite good enough since you’re a by-blow St. Clair. A man without a title or his own home.”

Her words cut him to the quick—because everything she said was true. Hudson believed himself a fraud, using the St. Clair name. He moved among the edges of Polite Society and did business with a great many of them. Although he had numerous friends—and a vast army of female admirers—he never really felt as if he fit in. His brothers and brothers-in-law were titled gentlemen with numerous estates between them. While he had made a good deal of money, he didn’t believe any good woman would ever want him.

“Instead of looking for a wife and facing possible rejection, you’ve gone the total opposite way,” Cor accused. “You’ve become a rogue. One who plays with the hearts of married women because you keep your own locked away.”

She squeezed his hand. “Quit guarding your heart, Hudson. Let it loose. Take a chance. I’m not saying you should wed some silly girl of theton, straight out of the schoolroom. Being illegitimate does limit your choices. There are many other nice women out there who have never set foot in a London ballroom, though. Daughters of solicitors or doctors or bankers.” She gave him a pointed look. “Even shop girls, earning their living, as Laurel did before she married Anthony. These women aren’t interested in a titled gentleman. They are looking for a good man. One who is loyal and giving and will treasure them for who they are.”

Cor smiled sagely. “They say former rogues make the best husbands. I am certain that will be the case with you.”

He shook his head. “You know I adore you. I would move heaven and earth to please you. But I will not go and trap some woman into marriage just so I can wed her before you pass away.”

She shrugged. “I’m not saying you must find one that fast. I merely want you to be open to the idea of marriage. That’s all.”

Hudson wanted to keep the peace between them and make her final days happy ones so he said, “I will certainly consider it, Cor.”

Once his beloved grandmother was gone, though, a wife would be the last thing he would ever seek out.

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