Page 72 of Suddenly a (The St. Clairs 5)

“I’m sorry. I tried to tell you and couldn’t. I thought it would hurt you if you knew I had to marry in order to inherit from Cor.” He shook his head. “The thing is, I wanted to marry you even before I heard the terms of her will.”

She blinked several times. “Go on.”

“You know how much I wanted you from our first meeting. That’s true. Then I left to go be with Cor. She was the most important person in my life. Her influence shaped me in so many ways.” He shook his head. “She would be so disappointed in me now.”

Hudson released her hands and sat back. “Marriage had never crossed my mind. Yet Cor pushed me, even to her dying breath, to find a woman to love and make a family and home with her. Once I heard the terms of her will—that I wed within sixty days—only one woman came to mind.

“You.”

Mia bit her lip. She watched him sag, his eyes falling to the ground.

“If I failed to wed, Cor’s money would go to the Linfield School and Meadowbrook to Delia. I have plenty of money and didn’t need it. But I did want Meadowbrook. Some of my happiest times had been spent there.” He raked his fingers through his hair. “I told Jeremy that it was you—or no one. If you turned me down, then Delia could have Meadowbrook.”

Hudson’s gaze met hers. “I wanted you as my wife, Mia. I wanted a family with you.”

“Then why did you offer me a marriage of convenience?” she asked, her voice trembling.

He smiled wryly. “Because you said you never wanted to wed. I thought if I gave you a way to gain your freedom, it would be a start. That the friendship that had begun between us might eventually become more.” He shook his head. “I’d planned to steal a few kisses from you on our honeymoon, hoping to plant the seed in your head that the possibility of having a complete marriage might work.”

“And then I came to your bed and told you I wanted you.”

“You did,” he said softly. “It was the happiest moment of my life. Until we made love. I knew then you were made for me. That destiny had brought us together.”

He moved to sit next to her. “I was a fool, Mia. By the time I even remembered the terms of the will, enough time had passed that I thought you would be hurt or bitter if I told you.” Hudson took a deep breath and slowly exhaled. “I also was foolish enough not to tell you I loved you.”

“What?”

“I love you. I know it may be too late for us. I lied to you. I know how much honesty means to you. I’m not even sure I should tell you that I love you. I feel I’ve lost the right to do so.” He took her hands again. “But I can’t hide the way I feel. I love you. I don’t expect the same from you. Not after the way I’ve behaved. You’ve already left and I understand why. We can go our separate ways if that’s what you truly wish. Take Bromwell’s house as your own. I’ll settle an income on you. I’ll—”

“You would give up on us that easily?” she asked angrily. “You found me. You’ve told me you love me. And then you’re willing to walk away without a fight?”

Hudson looked at her, his eyes filled with misery—and a small glimmer of hope.

“I don’t want to give up. I don’t want to let you go. I’m trying to do the gentlemanly thing and set you free.”

Her eyebrows arched. “Areyou a gentleman, Hudson St. Clair?”

“No,” he said, his eyes glittering. “I’m a bastard. Dressed in a gentleman’s clothes, yes. But I’m ruthless and go after what I want. I take no prisoners and have fought hard for everything I have.”

“What if I told you that I love you?” she challenged.

His jaw dropped as her words rendered him speechless for a moment. Then a smile broke out across his handsome face.

“I would say you show bloody poor judgment, Mrs. St. Clair. To love an idiot bastard like me.” He snagged her waist and pulled her onto his lap. “But who am I to tell you how to feel? If you love me—and I love you—nothing else should matter.”

His hand cupped her nape. “I’ve made mistakes. I’ll probably make many more. I promise you, Mia, I’ll never make the same one twice. I will always tell you the truth, no matter how much I think it will hurt or upset you.”

Her hands cradled his face. “I promise I will always listen to you and not jump to conclusions or run away. I may be angry or disappointed but I will always talk things through with you.” She brushed her lips against his. “I’m afraid we’re stuck with each other.”

“Mia,” he said with such fierce tenderness that she ached. “My darling, sweet, forgiving, beautiful Mia. I love you. More now because you love me in all my imperfection. I plan to make it up to you, darling. Every day from now through eternity.”

Her husband kissed her, his whiskers rough against her skin. It didn’t matter. She had him back. For good. They would never let any misunderstanding come between them again. He loved her. She loved him. They were in this together. Just as their vows had said, for better or for worse. She was ready to put the worse behind them and focus on their future.

His kisses became more urgent. She opened to him, loving the feel of his tongue warring with hers, his hands running up and down her back. Her body—her very blood—heated at his touch, needing it as flowers needed the rain. She stroked his chest and let her hands glide downward, undoing his fall. She hiked her skirts up and settled herself over him, riding him as he’d taught her to do. Her hands tightened on his shoulders as she moved, feeling him inside her, where he belonged. When she came, he came with her, their cries of passion and pleasure mingling together.

Mia collapsed atop him, her head falling to his shoulder, her palms resting against his chest, feeling the wild beating of his heart.

Hudson stroked her cheek. “I love you,” he said. “I feel whole being able to say those words aloud.” He kissed her hair. “You have made me a better man, my love. But there’s something else I must tell you now. I want no more secrets between us.”

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