Page 33 of Suddenly a (The St. Clairs 5)

Chapter Eleven

Hudson strode tothe stables. He didn’t want to walk for a few hours, his usual refuge when things troubled him, because others might catch up to him. Instead, he entered the stables and waved the groom off, saddling a horse himself and barreling out of the structure like a bat soaring from a darkened cave. Sure enough, he saw both Evan and Anthony arriving at the stables. By the time they got horses of their own readied, Hudson would be long gone.

He rode several miles before finally pulling on the reins and slowing his mount. He slipped from the saddle and took the reins in hand so he could walk. He always did his best thinking when he moved.

What was Cor thinking?

He didn’t need her money—although it would certainly be nice to have. He didn’t want a country estate because he spent most of his time in London or traveling. Besides, he had accumulated enough wealth to buy his own if he was ever interested in owning one.

But Meadowbrook...

That was what tempted him. Cor had loved the property, which her own mother had brought with her into her marriage to Cor’s father. Cor had spent many summers there as a young girl. Upon her own marriage, Cor’s father had given her the estate since it was so close to Eversleigh. Though Cor loved her family, every now and then, she would retreat to Meadowbrook and soak up the privacy. She had taken Hudson to the estate shortly after it came out that he was a bastard son of Cor’s only son, the previous Duke of Everton. She had put Hudson through his paces there, teaching him many things that would help him move with ease in a much different society than he was used to. It had become their special place and they had gone to Meadowbrook at least once a season to spend time together and check on her beloved horses.

Hudson resented that Cor played dirty even from the grave. If anything would tempt him to wed, it would be to become Meadowbrook’s owner. The special memories of his times there would be the only lure to tempt him into matrimony.

He cursed aloud. He didn’t want to wed. He’d tried to tell her that. Cor was a stubborn woman—even from the grave. She would know he didn’t need the money but the idea of owning Meadowbrook would appeal to him. Especially since it was so close to both Jeremy and Luke’s country estates. The three brothers, all within half a day’s ride of one another.

A part of him wanted Meadowbrook so bad he could taste it.

That wasn’t a good reason to wed, though. He might have looks and wealth but he was a by-blow. Yes, he had taken the St. Clair name, mostly to please Jeremy, though he was proud to bear it. He’d never be a true St. Clair, though. If he wed, his wife wouldn’t be able to move freely in society because he lingered in a kind of limbo. His family accepted him and always invited him to events they hosted. Any wife of his would also be welcomed at their homes. As far as thetonsaw things, though, a duke’s bastard didn’t belong among them and would never be welcomed. Looking for a wife among the women in Polite Society would never work since the mamas would forbid their daughters from even gazing in his direction.

Cor had told him to look outside theton. Should he? He wondered why he was even considering marriage. If he wed, would his wife resent all his St. Clair relatives for having what Hudson could never provide to her? If they had children, would those children be looked down upon by their St. Clair cousins?

Damn Cor for complicating his life. He was already far behind in work matters, which had him frazzled. He’d tried keeping track of everything while being in the country these past two months but it wasn’t the same as dealing with people in person. He needed to return to London at once to address a good two dozen matters. That did not leave time for finding—and convincing—a woman to marry him in the next sixty days.

Hudson sighed. Much as he would like to be master of Meadowbrook, he might as well see the estate go to Delia. He was a confirmed bachelor, in control of his own destiny. As much as Cor wanted him to have a family, he didn’t believe fate held it in store for him.

He mounted his horse and returned to the stables, not seeing anyone from the family. He entered the house and passed Barton.

“Dinner will be in half an hour, Mr. St. Clair,” the longtime retainer reminded him.

“Thank you, Barton.”

Going to his room, he entered—and found Jeremy waiting for him. His older brother sat in a chair, staring out the window. A touch of gray tinged his temples now. Jeremy had passed forty last year but was still in superb physical shape. Hudson chuckled to himself. Probably from running around chasing his large brood of children.

“We need to talk.”

“You’re using your ducal voice,” Hudson said. “Or I should say your ducal tone of voice. It’s when you give an order and never question if anyone will disobey it.”

Jeremy smiled wryly. “Is it perhaps because I am a duke and no one questions my authority?”

“Probably.” Hudson sat in the chair opposite his brother. “You may talk all you wish. I don’t have to listen. I certainly don’t have to act as you want me to. I am an adult.”

“You are,” Jeremy agreed. “One of the best men I know. In large part, thanks to Cor.”

He winced. “That’s a low blow, Duke. If we were boxing, you would receive a penalty for it.”

“We can agree Cor was the wisest of all the St. Clairs. She may not have been born one but as a duchess, she molded each of her grandchildren into being the men and women we are today. It was hardest for you, Hudson. We all know that. Yes, Luke and Rachel and I all had to share a house with our good-for-nothing father. He might have sired the five of us but he was a father to none of us. Cor was the true parent of the three legitimate St. Clairs.

“As for you and Laurel, Cor regretted until her dying breath that you’d been left unacknowledged until you were eighteen. It weighed heavily on her heart. Laurel, in marrying Anthony, gained entrance into Polite Society. Only because he was a duke. There are very few duchesses in England and members of thetondo not wish to alienate them. They overlook her humble beginnings because of her lofty position.”

“I’m another matter,” Hudson said gloomily. “I understand, Jeremy. I accept it. Believe me, having people snub me socially doesn’t bother me in the least. I’ve gone hungry. Been cold. Worked eighteen to twenty hours a day. Nothing those in society could do or say about me has any effect or influence on me. Yes, in a small way, it’s difficult sometimes because I am not your social equal. Has it stopped me from becoming successful or making a fortune? No. Has it kept my extended family from loving me and being loyal to me? Of course not. As you said the day I met you, St. Clairs stand together.”

“That’s why I want you to realize that Cor always knew what was best for us—even when we don’t always know that for ourselves.”

“You’re saying I should find a wife because she wanted me to do so.”

“Yes. She had her reasons for wishing you to become a husband and father. Even if it meant enticing you to do so by dangling Meadowbrook before you. We all know you don’t need her money. You have scads of your own.” Jeremy leaned forward. “Honor her memory, Hudson. She wanted you to have Meadowbrook. A home of your own, just as all her grandchildren have. You two bonded there. Meadowbrook is in your blood as much as it ever was in hers. Take a wife. Build a life with her at Meadowbrook. You can still continue your work on behalf of the family.” He grinned. “We wouldn’t let you slide away from us so easily. Not when you have the Midas touch.”

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