The countess sat beside him and took his hand in both of hers. “Do you feel incomplete without Rachel by your side? Do you wish to wake up with her every morning and despair the times you’re apart? Do you yearn for her kiss? Do you believe no one in the world can understand you the way she can?”
“All those things,” Evan wearily admitted.
“That... and more... is love,” Leah proclaimed. “Each couple’s love is unique to them. Loving Rachel—being with Rachel—will make you a better man.” She eyed him, not masking her disgust. “The Season starts in one month. Do you want her dancing with other men? Having them steal kisses from her? Could you live with seeing her engagement announcement in the newspaper? Would life still be worth living if you didn’t do your damnedest to march in and claim the woman you love?”
His hands tore at his hair. “She hates me, Leah. So does her entire family. I can’t blame them.”
Leah clucked her tongue. “Well, Alex and I are part of her family and we certainly don’t hate you. Just what you’ve done to yourself.”
He wiped his sleeve against his eyes, soaking up the tears that freely fell.
“It’s not enough, Leah. I know you mean well but—”
“You’re a coward,” Alex said sharply. “Rachel has been miserable without you. Yes, she plans to take part in the Season. Yes, she’ll probably choose a husband this time around. Why can’t you understand that she needs you as much as you need her?”
A ray of hope filled Evan. “Do you really think I have a chance?”
“Better to try and lose her for good than give up and drink yourself to death without trying.” Alex rested a hand on Evan’s shoulder. “You came home from the war for a reason.Rachelis the reason. Be a man, Evan. Do whatever you can. You know the two of you belong together.”
Shakily, he stood as Alex helped Leah rise.
“Help me,” he begged, deep shame running through him.
“We will,” Leah promised.
Evan found himself whisked into their waiting carriage. A man of about forty with kind eyes sat inside waiting.
“This is Dr. Gray,” Alex said. “He will be examining you and making recommendations.”
“I’m not sick,” Evan protested weakly.
“You’ve been drinking heavily for several months, Lord Merrick,” said the physician. “We only have a month to clean out your system. I’ll be supervising your recovery at the earl’s request. You will be watched every minute. I promise to do my best to help you return to the man you once were. It will take commitment and hard work on your part. Sometimes, it will seem impossible.”
“What if... it’s all for naught?” he asked softly.
Leah took his hand. “If you’re meant to be with Rachel, it will happen. If you’re meant to go in separate directions, then we’ll face that when the time comes.”
Evan felt totally overwhelmed. He crumpled in the seat, his head coming to rest in Leah’s lap. As he wept, she stroked his hair and murmured soothing words.
Evan determined if he had any chance of a life with Rachel, it was a risk he was willing to take.
*
Evan needed assistancefrom the carriage. Already, his hands shook and the headache still pounded away at his temples and the back of his head. Two footmen wound up carrying him upstairs to a bedchamber he’d slept in several times over the years. Dr. Gray ordered a bath for him as Evan perched on the bed, holding on to the bedpost so he wouldn’t fall to the floor. Both Alex and Leah wore grave expressions on their faces.
“I want you to listen to me, Lord Merrick,” the physician said firmly but gently. “You won’t remember everything I say this first time but I will be repeating myself over the next few days. First, I will not leave you. I will be with you throughout the day and during the night if you need me. I will sleep in the chamber directly across from yours. I only need a few hours each night. When I am resting, my assistant will remain by your side. His name is Randolph. He should arrive when your bath does.”
Alex said, “Dr. Gray is familiar with cases such as yours, Evan.”
He gave his friend a rueful look. “You can say it, Alex. I’m a drunk. Dr. Gray helps those who are sots.”
Dr. Gray said, “I have made a study of those who drink to excess, my lord. I have helped a great many people. You will never be able to consume any alcohol again once our time together is over. No port after dinner. No wine or whiskey.”
He shrugged. “I wasn’t much of a drinker. Before, that is.”
The physician looked to Alex and Leah. “If I can have time alone with Lord Merrick. As we discussed. When I think he is ready to see you, you will be welcomed. Until then, I am solely in charge of him and his care, no questions asked.”
“Of course,” Alex said. He and Leah departed from the room.