Page 33 of Educated By the Earl (Second Sons of London 1)

Chapter Nine

As they enteredthe lecture hall, Tessa tried to focus on anything except Lord Middlefield.

She still reeled from his kiss. Still had the scent of his cologne in her nostrils. Had the taste of him on her tongue.

Mentally, she put her foot down. She wasn’t having it. Any of it. He was conceited and haughty and far too sure of himself. Why, the man had boldly proclaimed that no other man would have a chance with her this Season. That he would be the one to teach her about passion and pleasure. Immediately, she sensed her cheeks reddening at that thought and pushed aside thinking about him. She had learned to place aside her feelings long ago during the long days and nights in the sickrooms of her parents. She would think about Lord Middlefield later.

Or not at all.

Instead, she drew on the well of good manners bred deeply within her and pasted on a social smile that would fool even the best gossips of theton. She greeted everyone in her path, introducing them to Lord Middlefield and remaining silent while various gentlemen spoke to him.

“I’ve seen you in the House of Lords, Middlefield,” an old friend of her father’s said. “You must come and sit with me. I have a bill coming up soon and I would like to share its contents with you.”

Other lords mentioned the same, having seen the earl in Parliament. One had spotted him at White’s and said they must dine together soon. Another asked him to go riding the following morning in Rotten Row. She stood mutely, allowing herself to be ignored, happy to do so because it allowed her to get her feelings under control. By the time they reached a desirable area of seats, she felt distanced from the earl. She would remain polite now and continue to be polite—and indifferent—when they met up again at various social affairs. Tessa had no interest nor desire in furthering her acquaintance with Lord Middlefield. She would also warn Adalyn and Louisa about him and his outlandish declaration. Her cousins would help insulate her from the bullying earl.

They took their seats and her companion let out a long breath.

“I am glad that is over,” he quietly remarked.

Turning to him, she asked, “What? The lecture hasn’t even begun.”

“All . . . those people,” he said. “Talking to me. Asking me to do things. It’s a bit overwhelming.”

“You . . . were overwhelmed by a few peers introducing themselves? I don’t understand, my lord.”

His brow furrowed. “It is hard to explain. I have always been a bit reserved. I am comfortable with my closest friends but I have never really sought out the company of others. I believe the war also changed me in ways that I have yet to understand. Frankly, I have avoided contact with others since I returned to England. It was why I refused your uncle’s dinner invitation. I didn’t quite know how to act in the company of others, especially ones I didn’t know.”

He raked a hand through his hair, obviously frustrated. “Sometimes, all I long for is peace and quiet. London is far too loud for my tastes. I worry about how I will respond to walking into a ballroom full of strangers. That thought frightens me.”

Tessa saw Lord Middlefield had let his guard down with this confession. She couldn’t help but empathize a bit—because she had held some of the same exact thoughts herself.

“I can claim no knowledge as to what it is like to be on a battlefield. The noise. The terror. But you are home now, my lord. Those men were merely being friendly to you.”

“I understand that—and yet it doesn’t keep me from wanting to flee the room,” he admitted. He sighed. “I suppose you believe I am damaged goods. I will admit that I have many chinks in my armor.”

“No, you are not damaged,” she said carefully, believing she was walking on eggshells. “But perhaps you are not ready for the frivolity of the Season and the noise and size of London. It might do you good to return to your country estate and become more used to civilian life before you return and partake in the events of the Season.”

He flashed her a quick smile, one which made her draw in a quick breath due to its beauty.

“You think you can get rid of me that easily, my lady?”

“I am not trying to get rid of you,” she said testily. “Merely giving you advice on your return to polite company.”

“Would I prefer to have a gun and bayonet in hand now?” he asked. “Of course. Would I rather be with my friends, leading my men against the enemy? Without question. But that part of my life is over and I am resigned to that fact. What lies ahead of me is a new life, one filled with new challenges.” He clucked his tongue. “You aren’t going to chase me off so easily. I am determined to stay the course.”

“By that, you mean attend the Season.”

“Yes,” he said, determination plain on his face. “Contribute in Parliament. Meet people at social affairs. Claim my countess. And then return to Stoneridge.”

“I wish you good fortune,” she told him primly. “In all your endeavors.”

Before he could reply, Mr. Smithson cleared his throat, asking that those in attendance be seated. He introduced the speaker and Tessa applauded enthusiastically as the man took the stage.

Unfortunately, she didn’t hear a word he said. Though she had looked forward to this lecture ever since she had seen it advertised in the newspapers, she lacked the concentration to follow along. Her thoughts kept returning to Lord Middlefield.

And their kiss.

Oh, it was so unfair that he was ruining this lecture for her. And he almost had ruined her life. She shuddered to think what would have been set in motion if anyone had discovered them in an embrace.

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