Page 39 of Educated By the Earl (Second Sons of London 1)

In that moment, the idea of marriage became real to Tessa. Before, it had been an ethereal thing, a lofty goal, one that she would work toward as she met bachelors at various social affairs. Suddenly, she realized tonight was the first of many social affairs. A dinner party. Her first. She hadn’t bothered asking her aunt who was on the guest list. If it contained any eligible men who might become a suitor to her.

Nerves flitted through her, causing her to wring her hands in her lap. Tonight was the true beginning of her being launched into society. She would attend many events such as this in the coming months. Abra was right. Each event would give her the chance to meet others, including men, one of whom might offer for her. She would need to be more aware of the behavior of others. Listen carefully to conversations. Glean what she could about those who interested her. And hope that by Season’s end, she would find a man she could love.

One who could love her.

Tessa knew she was asking for the impossible. Her own parents hadn’t been a love match. They had cared deeply for one another, though they often went about their separate lives, seeing their own friends and devoting themselves to their own particular interests.

She didn’t want that. She wanted a man to love. To devote herself to. One who would challenge her and make her think. Laugh with her in the good times and hold her as she cried when things turned sour. Tessa had no idea how to go about finding a man to love, much less falling in love with him and he with her.

Could kissing help?

Though her own mother—and recently, her aunt—had held a conversation with her regarding rakes and how to avoid them, Lord Middlefield’s kiss had certainly awakened desires within Tessa that she’d never known existed. It took her what seemed like hours to fall asleep each night because she lay awake thinking of places she wished he would touch. She would smash her hand into her pillow in exasperation, angry that the earl took up so many of her thoughts.

And made her think wicked thoughts about him.

Tessa rose. “That will be all, Abra. Why don’t you take the book you were looking at earlier with you?”

“May I?” the servant asked, her eyes wide. “I don’t know how to read. I just wanted to look at the pictures.”

“You cannot read?” The thought saddened her as Abra shook her head.

“I never had time for schooling. Mum needed me too much. To help out and make money. But you know I’m a fast learner, my lady. Maybe I could learn how.”

“I will teach you myself,” she declared.

Abra shook her head. “No, I couldn’t ask you to do that, my lady. You’ve got the Season coming up. You’ll be busy night and day.”

“Not so busy that I cannot devote an hour a day to teaching you. What do you say?”

The maid beamed. “How can I say no to your offer, my lady? Please, keep in mind when you do get busy—and you will—that we will put off these lessons until after you are married.”

She blushed. “We don’t know for sure if I will find a husband this Season, Abra. After all, look at my cousin. She has been out for several years and still hasn’t found any man who pleases her.”

Abra sniffed. “Lady Adalyn is having far too much fun to get married. That’s what Bridget says.”

“I believe she will find the right man. My heart tells me so. Adalyn is a wonderful person.”

The maid snorted. “It will take a very powerful man to keep Lady Adalyn in line.” She giggled. “But he would have fun doing so.”

“Off with you,” Tessa said.

The servant left and Tessa glanced into the mirror once again, seeing her cheeks filled with color and her eyes sparkling. She wondered if she would appeal to Lord Middlefield tonight.

“Drat!” she said aloud.

She didn’t want to appeal to the man. She wanted to have nothing to do with him.

Except perhaps exchange one more kiss with him. Just to see if the first hadn’t been a mistake. And to help her compare it in case she had the opportunity to try kissing another man.

A knock sounded on her bedchamber door and she answered it. Louisa stood there and she threw her arms about her cousin.

“It is so good to see you!” she exclaimed. “Come in.”

“I did see you at tea several days ago,” her cousin pointed out as she stepped inside. “But it’s never enough. We have to make up for lost time.”

“I hope to see you often once the Season begins.”

“You will,” Louisa promised. “We will go to many of the same events. Your introduction to society actually starts with tonight’s dinner party. You weren’t old enough to attend anything other than a family dinner the last time you were in London. Uncle Uxbridge told me there will be thirty-two for dinner this evening.”

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