Page 11 of Midlife Wolf's Only Hope

Well, maybe it’s just that years of being alone and overwhelmed make the last month of not being alone and being far less overwhelmed so powerful to me. Maybe it’s that. My mind is just a swirl of thoughts and emotions, and I don’t really register all that’s happening as he gets me undressed. This isn’t the first time. I kind of like it. I know he doesn’t just snap his fingers and make me naked, but it feels that way, kind of.

Now that I’m naked, he steps back a bit and I watch him getting his clothes off. It’s almost awkward but I kind of feel rooted to the spot, like I can’t do anything. Maybe it’s the sight of his muscular body as his clothes come off. I’ve seen it before, but it still captivates me. I never really was one of those girls who get obsessed about a six-pack abdomen but it’s hard not to feel that way looking at Valentine. Maybe it’s because he’s the total package. Maybe that’s why I’m so damned overpowered by this man. Maybe it’s that his body is incredible, but it isn’t even the most important thing about him. Who the hell knows? What I know for certain is that I feel almost unable to move at all just watching him.

And my body is gearing up in ways it hasn’t ever before.

What a strange thing it is to feel rooted in place but also desperately want to explode into action.

When his pants come down and he stands only in his boxers, exploding into action beats out everything else. I rush back to him, slip my hand into his underwear and close my lips over his nipple as my other hand lifts up to run through his hair. It’s such a strange thing to realize I am already beginning to think about having a man available to me for physical reasons is the norm and not the exception.

That realization brings with it a moment of sudden terror.

It’s paralyzing.

I lost the last man. The pain of losing my husband is still present, tougher some days and easier others. It is there, though, and it doesn’t almost destroy me every minute like when it first came to me, but it is there.

Having Valentine in my life means it is possible for me to lose him.

I pull my hand out and back away. It feels to me like the world is spinning. I can feel my breathing accelerating like I’m right on the verge of hyperventilating. Instantly, Val is close, hands on my shoulders. “Are you okay?”

“I… I…” I can’t breathe! He lifts me up and sets me on the couch and though I don’t intend to, I end up just breaking down into tears.

He holds me while I weep into his shoulder, and the fact that he knows to remain silent and only hold me while I cry is just another sign of how incredible he is and another reminder of how desperately I don’t want to lose him.

When my sobs reduce to sniffles, he asks, “What’s wrong, Klarice?”

I take a deep breath and struggle to get out, “I—I don’t want to lose you.”

He pulls me close and says, “Klarice, you’re not going to lose me. I promise you, I’m not going anywhere. My wife and I—”

He hesitates and I say, “I don’t mean to lose you likethat. I mean… I don’t want to lose you like I lost my husband.”

“Oh,” he says. “Don’t worry about that. I’m a lot tougher than I look.”

I think of my husband and how his own considerable strength and vitality were useless in the face of the gunman that ended his life and his partner’s life.

“No one’s that tough,” I say, my voice filled with melancholy.

He is silent a moment, as though weighing his response. Then he says, “Have you ever met a shifter?”

“A shifter?” I ask, surprised by the question. “Um… No, I don’t think so.”

He disengages and steps away. He says, “Just remember, Klarice: this is still me.”

Before I can ask him what he means by that, he grunts, and his body begins to transform. His feet and hands lengthen and sprout claws, his snout also lengthens, and his teeth elongate into wicked-looking canines. His muscles bulge and strain against his shirt and when one of his sleeves finally tears, I see fur sprouting through the opening.

I am rooted to the spot but not by fear. The creature in front of me is now more wolf than human but the eyes that stare at me through hooded brows are unmistakably those of the man I love.

He shifts back and when he speaks again, I think I hear a growl behind the words. “You are fifteen years younger than me, Klarice but there is no way that I go before you. You willneverlose me.”

I don’t answer at first. All of my fear from a moment ago has transformed to wonder and now that wonder transforms into powerful relief.

I smile at him and say, “I believe you committed to doing me. Why are you so far away?”

He smiles and crosses to me and I decide to skip the foreplay and just guide him inside me.

CHAPTER EIGHT

Valentine

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