Page 113 of Never Lasting (Never Blue)

Tali

When my eyes opened,the first thing I saw was Nina sitting up on my bed, staring at her phone with tears rolling down her cheeks.

“What’s going on?”

She handed me the phone wordlessly.

There were a series of vulgar, hurtful texts from Heather, all from last night and early this morning.

Heather:You’re such a cunt. You were never good enough.

Heather:Do you know how many times I’ve cheated on you? So fucking many, babe.

Heather:I’m about to fuck the biggest dick I’ve ever had.

Heather:You might have put me off women forever.

Heather:Want to see his dick? Sure you do.

*Download Attachment*

I didn’t know why I chose to open the picture. Maybe morbid curiosity. But, like Pandora’s Box, once I’d opened it, I wished like hell I hadn’t.

She snapped a picture of Ben lying naked on her bed, his dick hard and ready. There was no mistaking the picture had been taken last night, with his black eye and bruised cheeks. His vacant eyes stared directly at the camera. Did he know who she was sending this to?

I flung the phone across the bed, disgusted and hurt beyond measure, both for Nina and myself—for my dead friendship.

“I’m so sorry, Neens.”

She nodded. “In a way, I’m glad she sent this. At least I know it’s truly over. You can’t really come back from this.”

I sat up and hugged her hard, letting her cry against my shoulder while crying my own tears too.

A soft knock sounded on the door before it opened slowly and Jude peeked his head in. Nina’s arms tightened around me, keeping me safe from whatever storm might be coming.

“It’s okay,” I whispered.

“Are you sure?”

I swiped the tears from her cheeks with my shirtsleeves. “Yeah. I’ll be down in a few minutes.”

Jude stepped inside my room and closed the door behind Nina after she passed. He looked awful, and not just from last night. Now that my eyes were open, I saw him. He’d lost weight over the past few months. His cheekbones stood out in stark relief above his gaunt cheeks. His arms were all taut muscles and tattoos. His jeans hung low on his narrow hips. Dark rings circled his bloodshot eyes.

He was my Jude, but he wasn’t. He’d taken on a dark passenger, who he’d kept hidden until it became impossible.

“I’m sorry,” he said in a voice that sounded foreign. Too raspy and forlorn to belong to the man I loved.

“Me too.”

With heavy feet, he moved closer to my bed. “You have nothing to be sorry about.” He scrubbed his mouth with his hand, knuckles swollen and bloody. “I’m the piece of shit who did this.”

“I’m not sorry because I think I did anything wrong. I’m sorry we’re in this position.”

His head hung low, long hair curtaining his face. “Yeah, I get that. I get that it’s entirely on me.”

“I feel like I don’t know you.”

He raised his head, alarm written across his tired face. “You do. I made a choice—I’ve been making choices—that are pretty fucking awful.” He slapped his hand against his chest. “But you know me here. I haven’t changed. I’m fucked up, but I haven’t changed. I love you with everything I am.”

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