Page 20 of Dissonance (Unrequited 3)

The smile I gave him was devious. “Say ‘I’m a big dick.’”

He clasped his hands on his flat stomach and waggled an eyebrow. “I have a big dick.”

I didn’t want to laugh at that, but I couldn’t stop myself. I blamed the sunshine for making me delirious.

Before I knew what he was doing, he snapped a picture of me, mid-laugh, on his own phone, then another of the two of us. I tried to snatch it to make sure he hadn’t taken an up-the-nostril shot, but he wagged his finger at me and held his phone up high with his mile-long arms.

“Not today, demon. These are my pictures,” he said.

“Are you going to post them?” I asked.

“Maybe. Or maybe I’m keeping them for my own nefarious purposes.”

“Like what?”

“Like when you claim I’m not funny, I’ll take this out as evidence to the contrary.”

My eyes narrowed at the same time my lips curled up involuntarily. “Laughing at you once doesn’t mean I think you’re funny. That was pure luck.”

“Ah, well. The picture tells a different story.” He nudged me with the toe of his crusty, checkered Vans. “Time for you to take your Yael-approved pictures. Am I glamorous enough for you?”

Flattening my hand, I held it out and swiveled it side to side. “You’re on the cusp, but I think you’ll do for a fake boyfriend.”

He patted his chest. “You’ve never said anything sweeter.”

Ignoring him, I fluffed my hair and licked my lips, checking myself out on my camera. Alex leaned his head against mine, and I snapped a picture. Then he pressed his lips to my cheek, and my heart jammed into my throat with a violent leap. Somehow, I caught my wide-eyed expression in a picture even though I couldn’t say I remembered pushing the button.

He chuckled and murmured beside my ear, “Come on, cool girl. I’ve gotta be able to put my lips on your cheek without you looking like you’re about to faint. I’m not gonna take advantage of you.”

“I know you won’t,” I admitted, somewhat defensively. “You just surprised me. I didn’t know cheek kissing was part of our fake dating agreement.”

He kissed my cheek again, just a bare brush of his lips, before he drew away, bringing his knee up on the bench between us. “On date number two, we’ll set some ground rules and expectations.”

I turned to him, my skin still tingling where his lips had touched. Probably because his lips were laced with acid or something. “Are you saying this is date one?”

“Clearly. A walk, skateboarding, a little kiss. I’ll buy you a milkshake on the way home to round it out. This is a rad date, if I do say so myself.”

As much as I wanted to disagree, I couldn’t. I mean, I could have, but I refrained. I’d started off this day in a panic, but Alex had managed to soothe it away. And yes, I’d actually enjoyed myself at least half the time.

“It hasn’t been too bad.”

Alex clapped his hands together. “All right, then let’s blow this pop stand and get you a milkshake before I turn into a pumpkin and ruin my chances for a second fake date.”

“I feel I could make a ginger joke here,” I said.

“Ah, but I know you won’t.” He stood and held his hand out for me to pull me up.

“Why won’t I?”

He tucked both boards under his arm and wrapped his other arm around my shoulders, pulling me snug into his side. “You won’t because you’ve still got to charm me into another fake date. Three weeks of them before the wedding.”

“Oh, right. I’ll definitely be on my best behavior.”

He scoffed. “And we both know that’s not a high bar. As long as I walk away from this thing with all my limbs and appendages, we’ll be square.”

“As long as you keep those appendages to yourself, you’ve got a deal.”

“No worries. And don’t you even think about taking your tits out. I’ll be very offended.”

Once again laughing despite myself, I twisted out from under his arm and shoved him away.

“Oh my god, buy me a milkshake and stop talking!”

He didn’t stop talking, but hedidbuy me a cookies and cream milkshake that was so delicious, I didn’t even care. And when he left me at my door, I decided that was the best fake first date with a nemesis I’d ever been on.

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