Page 109 of Bright Like Midnight (Savage U)

He held his up. “You heard our thoughts. Now, it’s time to turn it all off.”

Yeah. Turning it all off sounded like exactly what I needed. I tossed back the shot, reveling in the burn of my throat, and slammed my glass down. “More.”

He filled my glass. I swallowed it. “More.”

The same. “More.”

The burn barely made a dent after that one. “More.”

He kept pouring. I kept drinking.

Until finally,finally, midnight came, and with it, all the bright faded, and so did I.

It took three days for me to crawl out of my hole. Three days of going to class half drunk and mostly hungover. Nights of drinking until the light was blotted out and all I was left with was black.

On Thursday, Marco poured the fresh bottle of tequila down the drain. “Enough.”

“I say when it’s enough.” But I had no power behind my protest. First, because I felt like shit warmed over. Second, because he was right. Getting obliterated three days in a row was really fucking enough.

“Smoke a blunt if you need some relief. Your liver will thank you,” he said.

“I don’t need relief.” I just didn’t want to think. Thinking meant making decisions. I wasn’t really ready to do that.

He propped himself against the fridge and crossed his arms. I was bent over the island, cupping my head in my hands.

“Ready to talk it out?” he asked.

“Nah.”

“All right. I have shit to do. Just telling you I’m here if that’s what you want.”

I lifted my head. Marco was walking out of the kitchen. “There isn’t anything to talk about, right? I have to get out.”

He stopped midstride. “What?”

“I have to get out.” I pounded the heel of my hand against my forehead, still foggy from the past three days of fucking myself up. “You were right. I’ve wrapped myself in my own bullshit so tight, I believed it, even when it was obviously untrue. I’m taking chances with you, with Julien. I’ve got Krasinski doubting me and my future because of my connections to Reno’s business. I’ve got junkies breaking into my house. I’ve got my girl—” I shook my head. I wasn’t going there. Not right now.

“Canyou get out?” Marco asked.

I closed my eyes, exhaled through my nose. “He’s not going to be pleased. I’ll have to empty out a lot of my savings to appease him.” I opened my eyes and focused on Marco. “Tell me, brother to brother, is this the right move?”

He didn’t hesitate. “Without a doubt. If he lets you go, this’ll be the best move you’ve made in a long,longtime.”

Zadie had been the best move I’d made in a long, long time. But I told myself this particular move, getting out of my promise to Reno a year early, couldn’t be about her. It had to be about me, my future, and my two best friends who were my brothers.

When this was done, when I got free and clear of the stranglehold of violence—maybe she was right, maybe that was what it was—I’d go to her. She’d be back at my side where she belonged, and she’d never fucking leave again. But I needed to be clean, without any ties, before I did that. I wouldn’t give her any room to protest, since I wasn’t going to accept any.

“He’ll let me go. I might have to fight. I’ll definitely have to pay. But he’ll let me go.”

He might let me go crawling and bloody, but I didn’t care. As long as the chains were broken, it’d be worth it.

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