Page 52 of I Asked the Moon

I sneaked out of my room without waking him and ran to the kitchen to make some toast and jelly for Thad, and to bring him an orange juice.

“Where’s Riley?” I asked Callum who was sitting at the kitchen table watching TV.

“Mom dropped her off at Ashley’s this morning. They’re going to Metro Park for the day.”

You wouldn’t understand how quickly my muscles relaxed, releasing my anticipated stress. Riley and I had cleared the air, but it was still a relief for her not to be there to witness me and Thad.

“Where’s Niall?” I asked. I thought I’d heard him before leaving my room.

“In the back setting up the Wii. You know you still owe me for last night.”

“Yeah, yeah. Can you guys stay in there for a little?” I pointed toward the rear living room.

“Another five bucks.” He winked then turned away.

Little shit.At least I knew he’d keep his mouth shut.

As I was carrying what little I had to offer Thad, Frankie came running through the sitting room. I must not have closed the door properly. I turned the corner and peaked through the crack in the door before entering. Thad was standing in his underwear, looking through his phone with his right hand as he shuffled his hair with the other.

“Oh.” He jumped as I opened the door, probably thinking it was someone else.

“It’s just me. Sorry.” I set the plate and glass on top of my dresser. “I’m not sure what you like.”

“That’s perfect.” He leaned forward and gave me a peck square on the lips.

Please do it again. Bring your lips over here.

“Hey. I don’t have to work until later today. Want to do something maybe?” I asked as he was throwing on his clothes.

“I can’t. We’re all going to visit a school my sister’s interested in.”

“Oh. Then let me grab your shoes.” I opened the door and ran to the hall that connected the kitchen to the side door.

“Hey. Can I tell you something?” he asked after I returned from the door with his shoes.

“Of course,” I said.

“I. Um. I don’t really know how to say this. I think. I really like you.” He grinned. “You just…you make me feel good,” he added, sending butterflies through my stomach.

You could have flown me to the moon and back and I don’t think I would have been as excited as I was. He finally put it into words. I finally had vocal affirmation that he thought of me the way I thought of him.

“I just…” He sat on my bed and tucked his face into his arms. “I don’t know what to think.”

My stomach ascended into my chest as if I had been thrown into the abyss. Was he confused? Had he never had feelings like this for another guy? I don’t think he was ready for this.

“I don’t know how to tell people about this. Or who I could say it to.”

We both knew his parents were not an option. They would need a lot of time before he could say anything. But why was he so afraid to mention anything to his friends? Most people our age didn’t care as much anymore. I remember the year previous when we had to debate Don’t Ask Don’t Tell in a government class. Now that I look back, our teacher brought that up for a reason—he was in the military before becoming a teacher. And I definitely remember seeing him, or someone who looked like him, once in a gay club after graduating high school. Anyway, it heartened me that so many of my peers thought it was dumb to discriminate against LGBTQ soldiers.

“Would it really be that hard?” I sat next to him and put my hand on his leg.

“Yes. It would. Don’t push me, Étienne.” He grunted, holding his hands together. This subject was touchy. But I didn’t think it was this sensitive of a subject.

Étienne, stop. You’re not even out to your friends yet.“Hey. It’s totally fine. We don’t have to say anything to anyone. I’m sorry.”

“That’s not fair though. Is it?” He rested his head on my shoulder and looked up at me.

He was conflicted about the situation. He wanted to be with me, but he didn’t know how to. I didn’t really know how either. But I definitely thought it would have been easier for me than him. For starters, my dad was gone. My mom and Riley wouldn’t have cared. They’d always dropped hints, insisting gay people should be treated as anyone else. It would have been easy to tell my brothers. They were both so young I could have introduced anyone as my boyfriend, and they would have shrugged and asked me to take them out for ice cream.

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