“By everyone else, you mean…?” I narrow my eyes at her, but she ignores my knowing stare.
“I mean every asshole who lives under this roof thinking I need my decisions made for me.” She pours herself another glass. “I’ve been meaning to ask, has Alexius been acting strangely to you the last few days? Well, stranger than normal.”
Guess I’m not the only one who noticed. Alexius is stoic and controlling on his best day. But lately, he’s been different. Distracted. Withdrawn. The only time I know I have his full attention—have all of him—is when he reminds me how tightly I’m chained to him by proving how easily we can drown in each other. Like this morning when he fucked me against his bedroom window while one of his brothers watched from the garden. I can still feel the pressure of his hand on my jaw, the cold glass against my naked breasts while his hard body keeps me locked against the window, his cock stretching my pussy and filling me until it hurts. His possession of me is absolute and exhilarating, something I’m not sure I’ll be able to let go of once our time together comes to an end. Every time our lips collide, our tongues duel, and our bodies rock to a rhythm our lust determines, it becomes more and more evident that our souls were either created as one in Heaven or burned and crafted in Hell. The way he knows me, what I want and how I want it, and how he’s more than capable of meeting all my expectations blows my mind every damn time.
A flush of heated skin spreads across my chest, thinking of the brother who saw us this morning. I loved it. The thrill of being watched, thinking of someone else being turned on by us and how we fuck, fantasizing about being one of us or taking part.
Does Mira know about the brothers and their love of sharing? If she has eyes and ears around here as she says she does, then it only makes sense that she does know. And if she does, is it safe to assume she has no issue with it?
I clear my throat. “He has been…distracted, I guess.”
“I wonder what’s going on?” Mira brushes a finger along her chin. “All of them seem on edge, like they’re waiting for a bomb to drop.”
“The other night, Alexius left quite abruptly just before midnight. He didn’t come home—well, not that I know of. I only saw him at lunch the next day, and he seemed…out of sorts ever since.”
“Something is going on, I’m telling you.”
“Maybe it’s his dad. He knows time is running out. All of them do. That can’t be easy.”
“Nope.” Mira straightens and starts pacing. “It’s not that. Maximo came to me last night and made me swear I wouldn’t leave the estate alone or without security. I dunno.” She swings around and scratches her temple. “See if you can get something out of Alexius.”
I laugh as I stand. “Are you serious? You know as well as I do Alexius never cracks. He won’t tell me a damn thing.”
“At least try,” she presses, her eyes wide and lips pouting suggestively. “Use your post-coital superpowers.”
I burst out laughing, and so does she. “Post-coital superpowers?”
“Come on, I’m desperate,” she whines through her laughter. “We need to figure out what’s going on.”
“Fine, I’ll try. But I can tell you now, Alexius is a giant wall when it comes to anything other—”
“Than fucking?” Her eyes beam with mischief, and my cheeks burn. “Oh, come on. Everyone living on the second floor can hear you two tearing each other apart every night. Savages.” She winks at me and puts down her glass. “Okay, I have to let the event planner know we’ve made our selections for the table settings. See you at dinner?”
“Definitely.”
Mira strolls out of Alexius’ office, and I can’t help but envy her and how she so easily navigates through the secrets and the darkness that comes with the unknown of this world the Del Rossas rule so effortlessly. It’s expected, though. This is something she’s known her entire life.
One thing she’s right about—even if I, by some miracle, own even a fraction of Alexius’ heart, it wouldn’t change him. It wouldn’t change the man he’s always been and always will be. If I want to at least try to be enough for him, I would have to up my game and shed the last bit of skin of the woman I was the day I walked out of that shitty apartment I grew up in.
ChapterFour
ALEXIUS
It’s almost eleven p.m. when I get out of my car and look up at her bedroom window. She’s probably already asleep after eating yet another dinner without me.
A pang of regret—or is it guilt?—swirls in my chest. Something shifted between us the night I shared her with my brother, giving her the fantasy she desired, and in turn realized she might be the wife I didn’t want, but is now the woman I don’t plan on letting go. We might not have had dinner together tonight—or the last few nights, for that matter—but the thought of her being here under this roof waiting for me forces that sliver of light through the thick blackness that’s been suffocating my soul almost my entire life. I’ve been searching for this light for so long, and now that I’ve found it, I have no intention of losing it.
Then you need to pull your shit together.
I still have a business to run.
And a woman to keep.
I have a responsibility to this family.
You have a responsibility to her.
She knew who and what I am the day she agreed. She understands.