Prologue
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Dear Sienna,
I should have known it would end like this.
Me hurting you was inevitable, and I’ll never forgive myself for not stopping it from happening.
I tried to stay away from you, but my attempts proved futile. The connection between us was a tangible thread that kept me tied to you, and I was too weak to fight against it.
What I feel for you is stronger than my instinct to shut everyone out. I have never been more afraid than I was the moment I realized what you are to me. You’re water. You’re air. You are what I need to exist.
I remember the day you opened the door, beautiful, young, angry…lost. The light from the crystal chandelier painted your silhouette with perfection, kissing your red curls as if it couldn’t get enough. I know the feeling. I know what it’s like to want you. To look at you while this overwhelming need to touch you, to explore your body pushes against the last ounce of moral substance I have left in me.
You were the one thing I couldn’t have, Sienna…yet I took you anyway. It was the most selfish thing I have ever done. I regret many things when it comes to you, but kissing you isn’t one of them. You took my breath away and somehow managed to thaw my heart with a single taste of your lips.
I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry. I won’t ask for your forgiveness. I don’t want it. The thought that you’ll never forgive me makes it easier to slip back into the darkness you managed to pull me out of. It makes it easier for me to stay away.
Even though the thought kills me, I hope you will be able to forget me.
I know I’ll never forget you. Ever.
Noah
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Those arethe words I should have written. But I didn’t.
Not even close.