Page 55 of To Hate You

“No, Sienna.” I took a step back. “As in, Sienna Whitlock and Noah Alexander can no longer exist.” I tried to steel myself against the guilt of demanding she pay such a price, but the look on her face all but fucking killed me. “Believe me, if there were any other way, I’d do it. If I thought walking away from you and this baby would keep you safe, I would rather do that than ask this of you.”

“No,” she snapped. “No. Don’t you even say shit like that to me. Don’t eventhinkabout doing that to me again.”

“Sienna, this is no longer about you or me or about how we feel about each other. This is about that baby you’re carrying. Our child. If I thought walking away from you and this baby would keep you safe, I’d rather do that than ask this of you.”

“There has to be another way.”

“There is no other way.”

“There has to be.” She bit her lip and began to pace, the nervous tension around her gnawing at my fucking bones. “We can go to the police, go to the FBI, for God's sake. Ask them to help us.”

“This isn’t a movie. This isn’t as simple as going to the FBI and taking down the bad guys like it’s something you can do before your morning coffee. I’ve been running and hiding from the Esposito family for years, Sienna. They killed my daughter. If there were any fucking way to take them down and slaughter the whole lot of them, I would have done it a long time ago.”

She turned and went to stand by the window, and I could see how her shoulders moved as she cried, hear the gentle whimpers of her heartache.

“They will not stop. They will never fucking stop. And the only way I can protect you,” I stepped up and wrapped my arms around her waist, placing my palm over her belly, “the only waywecan protect our baby is if we do this.”

I heard her sharp inhale of breath, her body shuddering against mine. “I promised my mom I’d take care of my dad.”

“I’m sorry.” It was all I could think of saying. There were no words, nothing that could ease the burden of the price this woman had to pay simply because she loved me. She leaned back against me as if needing my support to keep her from falling. I swallowed hard, pressing my lips against the back of her head and pinching my eyes closed.

“Okay,” she whispered, then turned to face me. “You’re right. This is no longer about us. And if giving up my entire life and everyone I know means I get to love youandkeep our baby safe, I’ll do it. But my brothers have to know.”

“Sienna—”

“We don’t have to tell them anything. Where we’re going, or who we’ll be. I just want to say goodbye. They have to know that I’m safe.”

I didn’t like it. My gut warned me it was too fucking risky, but my heart told me that I was already asking too much of her. She was giving up everything—every little fucking thing of her life. If this was what she needed from me, then I had to make it work.

“Okay. But after we say goodbye—Sienna, you can never reach out to them. There can never be any form of contact. We have to live the rest of our lives as if they don’t exist. Do you understand that?”

Sucking her bottom lip into her mouth, she nodded, and I reached out, pulling her close and hugging her tight. “I’m so fucking sorry.”

“I’m not.” She wrapped her arms around my waist. “I love you, Noah. There is nothing I wouldn’t do if it meant we could be together.” She nestled her cheek against my chest. “You’re the one.”

Epilogue

Noah

She’d grown, yet her hand still felt incredibly small in mine. Dainty little fingers. Soft skin. Her hair was longer, the delicate curls inching just above her waist. The flower pin keeping strands from her face was the same color as her pink butterfly frill dress.

I glanced down at her feet. Barefoot. She was always barefoot. It was a constant struggle for her mom and me to get her to wear shoes—especially on Sundays for Sunday school. We’d have to listen to her complaining about her toes not being able to breathe on the entire drive to church. She’d reluctantly walk into Sunday school class wearing the shoes, wiggling her nose like she always did when she was upset with us for not giving her her way. Then after church, she’d come running out toward us with a smile as big as the world. Barefoot.

“Daddy, I’m so excited. Are you excited?”

“I am.” I smiled down at her, admiring the pure excitement that radiated from her big, blue eyes.

“Are you sure it’s coming today?”

“Of course, I am.”

“Daddy, are you sure?”

“Yes, sweety. I’m sure.”

“Sure, sure?”

I chuckled and squeezed her hand. “Sure, sure.”

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