Page 46 of To Hate You

I ran toward her wanting to take her in my arms; the crack of a gunshot sounded.

I was on my knees on the floor when she fell, her little yellow dress drenched in blood.

All I could do was watch her die.

I couldn’t save her.

Every ounce of happiness and joy I ever felt disappeared…just like the life in her eyes.

“No,” I whispered, touching my stomach again. “I can’t. No.”

“Jesus, Sienna.” He grabbed my shoulders and turned me to him, rubbing his hand down the side of my face, his eyes wild and worried. “What’s going on? What’s wrong.”

My throat closed up, my mouth dry, and veins cold. I was so naïve and so enthralled with Noah being back I never once used my fucking head and assessed the magnitude of what really was going on.

Noah's life was in danger.

My life was in danger.

And the life of my unborn child was in danger.

I gasped with unsteady, rapid intakes of breath, but it didn’t get past my throat.

“Sienna. You need to breathe.”

“I can’t.”

“Close your eyes, okay? Think of a square, and inhale as you travel up the one side of the square.”

“What?”

“It’s something they taught us in the marines. You need to imagine a square, imagine tracing your finger up the one side as you inhale, hold your breath and then exhale as you trace down the other side.”

“I can’t.” I winced my mind a vortex of madness, leaving no space for a damn square.

“You have to, okay. You need to breathe. In and out. Deep and slow.”

I gasped, my chest heaving with every labored breath. But no matter how hard I tried, the air couldn’t reach my lungs.

“Noah.” I grabbed his arm, sinking my nails into his flesh as chills wracked down my back. “You have to know.” My voice cracked through the rapid, panicked breaths; the little oxygen I was capable of sucking in burned the inside of my throat, my ribs tightening inside my chest.

Car lights flashed in front of the window, and Noah cursed. “Fuck. That’s Watson. Watson!” Noah called out. “Watson. I need your help!”

“Noah? Where the fuck are you?”

“I’m in here!”

He palmed my cheeks, his thumbs brushing along my lips. “What the hell is going on with you, Sienna. First, you get sick out of the fucking blue, and now…” his worried gaze cut down my body before finding my eyes once more, “now you’re having a goddamn panic attack?”

“Noah, I’m…” My head spun, dizziness gripping me tightly, making my legs weak. “I’m…”

“You’re what? Sienna, what the fuck is going on?”

The door flung open, and I hunched over, still desperately gasping for air when I saw Silas standing in the doorway. “She’s pregnant. My sister is fucking pregnant.”

Everything went on mute. There was no sound. No color. No light.

And then I fell.

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