Page 22 of To Hate You

What I feel for you is stronger than my instinct to shut everyone out. I have never been more afraid than I was the moment I realized what you are to me. You’re water. You’re air. You are what I need to exist.

You were the one thing I couldn’t have, yet I took you anyway. It was the most selfish thing I have ever done.

I regret many things when it comes to you, but kissing you isn’t one of them. You took my breath away and somehow managed to thaw my heart with a single taste of your lips.

I won’t ask for your forgiveness. I don’t want it. The thought that you’ll never forgive me makes it easier to slip back into the darkness you managed to pull me out of. It makes it easier for me to stay away.

Even though the thought kills me, I hope you will be able to forget me.

I know I’ll never forget you.

Ever.

So many fucking words. So many ways to tell her how I felt about her; what she meant to me. But in the end, none of them mattered. None of those words had the power to undo what I was about to do. A thousand words could have been said only to be carried away by the storm. The heartache.

I sighed and finally wrote the letter that would be the bullet to end it all—to end us.

And then...I walked away.

* * *

My chest pressed against her shoulder, and my lips brushed against her ear as regret carved my heart wide open. “I’m sorry, Sienna.”

She whimpered, and the sound fucking broke my heart. The air was thick with her pain. I could feel it reach for me, squeezing my chest, making it hard to breathe. And the single tear that slipped down her cheek magnified her sorrow a million times over.

God. I wanted to put my arms around her. But I had lost that right the moment I placed a gentle kiss on her forehead before I walked away.

Leaning closer needing to reach behind her back, I stilled for a second so I could let her smell trigger all those fucking memories of us I had tried so damn hard to forget.

I took her wrists, brushing my fingers across her smooth skin, and she flinched as if it had caused her physical pain. Jesus Christ.Someone, just force a concrete wall through my stomach. It’ll be less painful.

The knife sliced through the thread of the rope, and I hovered for a moment, loving being so close to her again.

Sienna moved and her expression changed from shock to confusion...to enraged. I anticipated the blow a second before fire erupted across my skin, my head jerking to the side as her palm collided with my cheek.

“You son of a bitch.”

I slacked my jaw, waiting for the burn to wane before turning to look at her. It was all there in her eyes; the anger, resentment, the pain. It was black and brutal, enshrouded with hurt as tears enhanced the vibrance of her irises.

She shoved hard against my chest and pushed me back, my ass kissing the floor.

“You asshole! What the fuck is wrong with you?”

She got to her feet, and I launched up to ready myself in case she decided to make a run for it. “Sienna, you need to listen to me.”

“I don’t need to do shit.”

“I’m serious.”

“And so am I!” She yelled, her forest eyes wild and fiery—the exact look that helped pave my way to a place where I fell head over heels in love with her. It was a look that screamed fight and surrender at the same damn time.

I held up my hands. “Just calm down and let me explain.”

“You kidnapped me.” Her eyes narrowed as the reality of what she had just said set in. “You fucking kidnapped me. What the hell, Noah?”

“I know. I’m sorry. But it was the only—”

“Where are we?” Her gaze cut across the room, from one light-brown wooden paneled wall to the other; a four-post double bed standing in the middle. “What is this place?”

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