Page 14 of To Hate You

I typed.Why would I need to get out of the house?

Okay, you got me. It’s me. I need to get out of the house. The walls are starting to talk to me.

I smiled.Well, that’s never good. You should probably get out of the house then.

Don’t make me do it alone. Let’s grab something to drink.

Oh, God. Was he asking me out?

I’m not asking you out. I just don’t want to be the pathetic guy who goes out for a drink alone.

I let out a breath and leaned my head back. The last thing I needed was another complication. But the idea of having a friend felt nice. Cleo gave up on me the second week I refused to come out of my room, and I haven’t heard from her since.

Maybe getting out of the house wasn’t such a bad idea. Silas had been biting my ass for the last week to tell Spencer I was pregnant. But I wasn’t ready yet. I think I dreaded telling Spencer more than I did my dad. Spencer and I had always had this close relationship, where Silas and I hardly ever got along. Yet, when it came to sharing my deepest secret with someone, I chose Silas.

I’ll have you home before the streetlights go on.

I stifled a laugh, twirling a curl around my finger. Oh, what the hell.

Pick me up in twenty. The last thing I want is for you to look pathetic.

Thank God. See you in twenty.

Placing my phone on my chest, I looked up at the sky, dark grey clouds starting to smother the sun rays. It felt almost ominous how the threatening rain cast a shadow over the Earth, erasing all signs of the sun and its light which had shone mere minutes ago.

“Here you are. I’ve been looking all over for you.”

I looked up at Silas and sat up as he took a seat across from me. “Well, you found me.”

My brother rested his elbows on his knees, rubbing his palms together. The pensive look on his face told me exactly what he had on his mind. “You need to tell Spencer. And Dad.”

I pulled my curls back over my shoulder without responding.

“Sienna, this is not the kind of secret you’ll be able to hide forever. At some point people are going to...you know,” he glanced down at my stomach before looking me in the eye, “notice.”

“I know that, Silas. I’m just not ready yet.”

He pulled a palm down his face, lines of worry forming grooves on his forehead. “Listen, you and I, we don’t have the kind of relationship you and Spencer have. I mean, I love you and all that, and I hate that you’re going through this right now. But I...” He dropped his gaze to his feet.

“Silas, what are you trying to say?”

“Just that,” he looked up, “I’m scared.”

I narrowed my eyes. “Of what?”

He bit his bottom lip, his expression pained. “I’m scared I can’t help you.”

“What? Silas, what are you—”

“This is not a scratch on Dad’s car, Sienna. The consequences aren’t as simple as just losing a few months’ allowances. This is real shit. Life-changing shit, and I don’t know if I’ll be able to help you. God.” He leaned back in his seat, dragging his fingers through his dark hair. “I’m the messed-up brother. The one without a responsible bone in his body. The one who creates more problems than he can solve. How am I supposed to help you with something as big as this when all I’ve ever done is fuck up?”

“Jesus, Silas,” I whispered as chills erupted across my skin. “You are my brother, and I love you. But you do not have to carry my shit on your shoulders.” I stood up, walked over, and crouched down in front of him. “I came to you because I knew you’d never judge me. I knew you wouldn’t give me some big-brother speech about how irresponsible I was and how I royally fucked up my life. I came to you because I had to tell someone, and I knew I wanted that someone to be you.”

Silas rubbed the back of his neck. “I want to tell you that it’s all gonna be okay. And I know Spencer will probably have something super inspiring to say, like...things have a way to work themselves out. Or, God wouldn’t send something your way if he knew you couldn’t handle it. Or even something like, everything happens for a reason.” His gaze locked with mine as I remained crouched before him. “But I can’t say those things to you because I don’t know. I just don’t know if everything’s going to be okay.” He shrugged. “I don’t have any inspiring shit to say to you.”

I let out a snicker and straightened, roughing my hand through his hair. “If I want to hear inspiring shit, I’ll go to Spencer. But just knowing that you know and that you don’t look at me any differently is comfort enough for me.”

“I love you, Silas. It doesn’t matter if we don’t always get along.”

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