Page 65 of Cruel God

“Rex is a liar, Hope. You can’t trust him.”

“Oh my God, how can you say that?”

Lily licked her lips, her expression saddened. Hurt almost. “It was him,” she continued, and I frowned in question, clutching Rex’s jacket tighter around my shoulders. “Twelve years ago. It was him. He’s the one who pulled you into the van that day.”

Her words slammed against my chest like a wrecking ball, catapulting me back to that day.

I stopped screaming when I saw that Lily no longer tried to get away. But, even if I did manage to get loose and run, I didn’t want to leave her here alone.

My heart felt like it would rip from my chest as it beat impossibly fast.

We were in the van, and I was crying even though I was no longer yelling for help. I was so scared I wet myself, biting my tongue as the warm pee poured down my legs.

“Jesus Christ, she pissed herself,” I heard the guy say who was busy tying Lily’s hands behind her back. “Fuck. Now we’re gonna have to drive all the way back to the house with the van smelling like piss. Jesus,” he shouted, and I cringed, biting down on my tongue even harder, the taste of blood bursting in my mouth. “I just had the van cleaned. Fuck! Just fucking kill that one. She’ll never make it.”

“No. No. No. Please,” I begged, and I wanted to throw up. I wanted to vomit and soil myself all at the same time.

“Shut the fuck up,” the man who held me shouted—or was it a boy? He sounded young. Colton’s age. “She’s scared. Of course, she’s going to piss herself. Stupid fuck.”

“It’s okay,” he cooed while tying my hands behind my back. “You’re okay. I won’t let him hurt you.”

There was something in his voice that soothed my fear a little. Just a little. It made it possible for me to take a deep breath and not feel like I was suffocating.

“Don’t be afraid.” He shifted behind me, and I saw a piece of black fabric from the corner of my eye. “I have to put this over your face, but I promise you nothing bad will happen to you in this van. Okay?”

I looked up at the masked face, and into the bluest eyes, I had ever seen. They were different shades of blue—like diamonds, sapphires, and the darkest parts of the ocean all combined. I had no idea who he was, and even though he had just pulled me into this van, I trusted him. I believed he’d keep his promise…because I saw it in his eyes. Those beautiful blue eyes.

The memory faded, and I turned to face Rex. There were no more than two feet between us, and I inched closer as I stared up at him, looking into his eyes.

The same. Blue. Eyes.

“She speaks the truth,” he started. “It was me. I was the one who pulled you into that van. It was one of Victor’s sick tests to see if I was ready. I didn’t mean to—”

“Shhh.” I reached out and cupped his cheek, staring into the eyes of the man who kept the promise he made me twelve years ago. “I know,” I whispered. “I know it was you.”

Rex raised an eyebrow, staring at me in disbelief. “You knew it was me all this time?”

I nodded.

“The day you smiled at me…you knew? Why would you smile at me if you knew what I did?”

I leaned my head to the side. “The day you pulled me into that van, you promised nothing bad would happen to me in the back of that van. And nothing did. Nothing bad happened to me in that van. All the bad things happened after. And when I saw you for the first time after that day, I was so happy. Just seeing you, knowing you were there, made me feel less…alone. So, I smiled at you.”

“You smiled at the guy who kidnapped you.”

“No.” I shook my head, brushing my thumb gently down his face, water still lapping down from his wet hair. “I smiled at the man who kept his promise. That day I already knew that I loved you. It has always been you, Rex.”

I glanced at Colton. “This man has kept every promise he ever made me. Every last one. He is all I know. All Iwantto know. Can you understand that?”

“No,” Colton spat.

“Then you’ll just have to accept it.” I turned, took Rex’s hand and walked closer to my brother. “I will not leave him, Colton. Ever. I don’t care what you call it.” I shrugged. “I call it love.”

“And I will not leave you here with him. Never. I don’t care what you say.”

My heart hiccupped in my chest, and I looked down at my bare feet covered in mud. “If only I could make you see that, even though I endured years of torture, humiliation, rape, and witnessed a dozen girls get murdered right before my eyes—it made me who I am today.” I met his gaze. “Everyone’s past shapes a person. It forms a part of who you are. Just like your past of searching for me, being in this world turned you into who you are now.” I gave Lily a sideward glance before looking back at my brother. “Just like Rex’s past shaped him into the man he is today. Don’t you get it, Colton? We can’t change our pasts. It’s solidified into who we are as people. As survivors. Nothing will change that. Taking me from the man I love won’t change that.”

Colton snarled and hissed, “I’m taking you, Hope. I’m done talking.” The second he wrapped his fingers around my wrist, forcing a thousand blades into my skin, the insects once again crawling toward my mouth, wanting in down my throat. I grabbed Rex’s gun from his hand—my heart pounding in my skull and drowning out all the other noise—and before the black pests could infest me, I pulled the trigger.

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