Page 26 of Cruel God

But at least I had the privilege of giving her this, of letting her experience the beauty of something she hadn’t seen in such a long time. That soothed my guilt just the tiniest bit.

“Come on.” I helped her up, the sight of her naked body reminding me what it felt like to be inside her. No matter how many times I fucked her or had her suck my cock, it would never be enough.

Feeling the need to take care of her, I swept her up into my arms and cradled her against my chest. She was cold, shuddering lightly against me as I carried her.

“It was just as I remembered it,” she whispered, and her breath danced across my neck. “The pinks and yellows using the sky as its canvas. I couldn’t take my eyes off it.”

Every word she spoke pierced my soul like a thousand daggers. The soft tone of her voice, the little bit of happiness that coated her words, moved through me like a river of agony. Even after years of being a slave—being nothing more than a puppet for someone else’s entertainment, she still managed to find beauty in the world. After everything I had done to her, it never felt like she resented me.

With the girls before her, I could see the hate in their eyes while I fucked them, and it was like I took a piece of that hate out of every one of them, making it mine. But Hope, she never made me feel like she would gladly kill me in my sleep; drive a knife through my heart and make me bleed. In fact, I knew she felt the same pull toward me that I felt toward her. How could she not? It was so potent, so strong; it was impossible for either of us to ignore.

I tightened my hold around her as we walked down the hall. “You’re tired. I’ll bring you breakfast; then I want you to rest.”

Inside her room, I gently eased her down so her feet could touch the ground. As she glanced down, I caught a glimpse of something that all but stopped my heart, and with my hand, I lifted her face to mine.

Jesus.

At the corners of her mouth was the tiniest sign of a smile. A hint of a happy moment lingered on her expression, her warm chocolate eyes dancing and beaming with…joy. It was a sight I never had the privilege of seeing. Hope smiling.

She placed her arms around her chest and hugged herself as she closed her eyes and smiled dreamily. “Seeing the sunrise brought back so many memories. Memories I thought were lost.” Her gaze moved to find mine. “I remember how my brother used to wake me up every Sunday morning, and we would climb through his bedroom window onto the roof. We would sit there for hours watching the sunrise while we talked about all the good things our futures held in store for us.”

I watched as her face radiated with delight while she told her story. Witnessed memories flash in her eyes while she smiled as if there were no cruelty in the world. No pain. No darkness. It made my chest ache and swell at the same time, and I couldn’t stop myself from asking, “You loved your brother?”

“I did.” She smiled. “I remember there was this one morning when Colton slipped and almost fell off the roof. I had to help him get back on as he hung from the gutter. Once he was back on the roof, we started laughing. We laughed so hard we couldn’t even breathe.”

And then it happened. It happened right in front of me, or I would never have believed it. She laughed. Hope fucking laughed as if she was reliving that memory right that very second. Her laughter was sweet, soft and filled with so much cheerfulness; the sound cracked through the bones that protected my heart. It was the kind of gentle laughter you’d expect from someone as beautiful as her. The sound was soft, heavenly and light. It reminded me of a time when I still noticed things like the slightest breeze in the air that brought with it the floral scent of spring.

For the first time, I heard what her laugh sounded like, and it was even more beautiful than I imagined…sending a wave of burning resentment straight through my gut, slamming against my core like a jackhammer.

Just the night before, I wondered what her laugh would sound like, how it would be to experience her joy. And here it was, but it didn’t send a feeling of warmth throughout my chest. Instead, it thickened my gut with envy and resentment and filled my mouth with the bitter taste of jealousy.

For a moment, I thought that it was I who had made her happy by giving her the moon and the sun. But now, with a few words and a beautiful laugh, that honor got ripped away from me because…it wasn’t me. It wasn’t fucking me who made her smile. It was him. Colton. Her fucking brother.

Hewas the one she thought about when she watched the moon.

Hewas the one that occupied her thoughts when she saw the sunrise. Not me.

Her happiness, joy, and sweet laugh that filled the space between these four walls for the first time wasn’t because of me. It was because of a happy fucking moment in her past life that didn’t include me. It was never. About. Me.

I wanted to be that fucking sunrise, the light that brought her joy. I wanted to be that good memory that made her laugh…but I wasn’t. Instead, I was the devil that kept her in a cage in this hell she called a life.

Last night I had made her suck my cock so she could show me that I was her everything, and she did it. The way she swallowed the ribbons of cum I shot down her throat was supposed to prove to me that I was her beginning and her end. Her alpha and omega. But now, as I watched her laugh so sweetly, I knew that just because she did what I commanded didn’t make it true. She was being the good little slave she had been trained to be. Just because she obeyed me, sat on her knees for me, acted like the perfect pet for me didn’t mean she was mine. It merely proved that she had no alternative. I was all she had.

Did I really expect her to be as possessed with me as I was with her? Fuck yes, I did. No matter that I was the sick, twisted fuck in this equation, and she was the puppet on the fucking string. She fed my monster every time I sank between her legs because she had to. She had to do everything I demanded; appeasing me was nothing more than a woman trying to survive hell.

The toxic mix of rage and jealousy tore through my chest, and I could not stop it from taking control. I could feel it reach every muscle, every molecule of my being. It burned, it raged, and it was consuming me from the inside out.

I stepped forward, grabbed a fist full of hair behind her head, and jerked hard, not caring that I was hurting her.

Instantly her laughter died, replaced with a gasp and a shriek.

“You enjoyed that, did you?” I seethed. “Seeing the moon, watching the sunrise thinking about your goddamn brother while you still tasted my cum on your tongue?”

She bit her lower lip and pinched closed her eyes; the look of fear and panic splashed all over her pretty little face.

I forced her back toward the bed then violently shoved her onto it. There was no controlling it, the anger that suddenly pulsed like a life force inside of me—fueling me, possessing me, making me reckless.

I towered over her, my giant frame casting a dark shadow over her petite body and panicked expression. “Did you enjoy all the memories the sunrise reminded you of? Memories that didn’t include me. Memories that didn’t include my cock being shoved inside your cunt so deep, giving you the pleasure that you crave?”

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