Page 67 of Destroyed (American Street Kings 4)

Granite picked up Manic’s cut, the black leather creaking in his hands. “Now, we move on and do what we do best.”

“Yeah, and what’s that?”

“We come out on top and show the world why we call ourselves the American Street Kings.”

24

Ink

I stared at my cut,the skull and American flag patched on the black leather. To some, it was a symbol of anarchy, a bunch of savages who cared for no rules except their own. But to us—to me, it was the symbol of a brotherhood, a camaraderie of like-minded men who took care of their own. A family. Dutch was part of that family. In fact, to some, he was the heart of it all. He gave advice when needed, whether it was wanted or not. He protected, motivated, and inspired every one of us. He was always there when we needed him. Among us all, he was the least selfish, always looking out for the rest of us, putting himself last. His entire life revolved around us and this club. The American Street Kings. It was his life, and we were his brothers.

We’d buried far too many members through the years, but this one—this would be the one that cut the deepest.

“You ready?”

I took a deep breath and grabbed my cut before turning to face Neon. “I don’t think this is something I’ll ever be ready for.”

Her eyes were soft with sympathy as she approached me and wrapped her arms around my neck. I knew she grieved his death too. She felt the loss just like the rest of us. But she also knew that this time I wouldn’t be able to be strong enough for both of us. The guilt was too strong, and it was festering inside me, rotting further every time I thought about all the motherfucking what-ifs.

What if I killed Slither right there in Wraith’s room in front of Onyx?

What if I was there to protect Neon the day they took her?

What if I never took Neon down there to kill Slither?

What if I just fucking did things differently?

There were just too many variables that could have changed the outcome of all this. But there was nothing I could do now. My actions had been carved in stone, never to be erased or undone. Yet I couldn’t stop thinking about it—how Dutch would have still been breathing, and Manic would still have been wearing the American Street Kings cut if things had played out differently. But unfortunately, that wasn’t how things turned out. We lost Manic to the Sixes, and we were burying Dutch today.

I nestled my nose into her neck as I searched for a sliver of comfort in the familiar scent of her skin. “If I had just—”

“Stop. No one blames you, Ink.”

“I do. I blame me.”

“Don’t.” Her arms tightened around my neck. “All of us can go down that road. Every one of us could have done something differently that would have changed the outcome. Not just you.”

This time, I laced my arms around her waist, pressing her hard against my chest. “God, I love you, woman. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

She leaned back, brushing her fingers through my hair above my ear. “We’re the same, remember? We both live with the scars of our past.”

I pulled my lips in a straight line. “This ain’t scars, though. It’s a weight I’m not sure I’ll be strong enough to carry for the rest of my life.”

“You will.” She palmed my cheeks. “You will be strong enough because I’ll be right there next to you to share the weight. You hear me? I’m going to be there for you the same way you’ve been there for me.”

I reached out, grabbing a fist full of her hair at the nape of her neck, and pulled back, causing her to crane her neck slightly. “You’re the most beautiful part of my life, you know that?”

“You make me beautiful.”

Overcome with a whirlpool of emotions, I pulled her close and slammed my lips against hers, kissing her so hard our teeth clashed together. I needed her to not only hear how much I loved her, but to fucking feel it. To experience it. To live it every goddamn time I kissed her. Touched her. Fucked her.

Unable to ignore reality and delay the inevitable any longer, I let go of her lips and released her hair from my fist. “You gonna be okay?”’

“Yeah.” She took a step back. “Alyx, Wraith, and I are going with Dice in his car.”

I was relieved because the thought of her riding on the back of anyone’s bike but mine made my blood simmer. It would had been great to have her there with me, her arms clutched tightly around my waist. But today it wasn’t about what I wanted, or what she wanted. It was about showing respect and making this all about Dutch and the loss we felt as the American Street Kings.

“I love you.” I placed a chaste kiss on her forehead.

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