Page 18 of Destroyed (American Street Kings 4)

“Yeah. I’ll be down in a sec.”

“Okay.” She smiled then walked out. Alyx was a sweet soul with a heart of gold. God knew what I would have done if she wasn’t around. But sometimes, like today, I found it hard to breathe around her—around people. Some days, I could act the part of a healing victim. Other days, trying to act normal was suffocating, like something inside me was pushing against my lungs, making it hard to breathe. It took an immense amount of strength to keep the pieces from scattering. I wanted to let go, to let the pieces fall, and to just stop trying to survive. Giving up would be so much easier than fighting. To let the darkness consume me would be a relief from the constant struggle to hold on to a light that was no longer there—a light they took from me. A light they tore out of me. A light I would never get back, not while I had hell wrecking me from the inside. The longer I suffered at the hands of the past, the more I accepted my fate. I was unsavable, destined to play pretend.

I grabbed my crutch and headed out of the bathroom into my room when I saw Ink standing in the doorway. Whether it was a trick of the eye, or the fact that I no longer looked at anything the same, but he seemed bigger now. Taller. Darker. Like he had the world on his shoulders.

“Your hair, it looks good.”

I absentmindedly touched the ends. “Alyx insisted.”

“Purple suits you.”

“Thanks. But it’s violet.”

A faint smile tugged at the ends of his mouth. “Violet, then.”

“Why are you not outside with the guys?”

He stepped inside the room and closed the door behind him.

“What are you doing?”

“Did you sleep last night?” He crossed his arms as he turned my way.

“A little.”

“You’re lying.”

I frowned. “I’m not.”

“Is it nightmares?

“No, Ink. It’s not—”

“Memories?”

“No. It’s none of that.”

He inched closer. “Then what is it? Why aren’t you sleeping?”

“I don’t know.” I huffed. “Maybe I’m not tired.”

“Bullshit.”

“Back the fuck off, would you?”

He took another step. “You haven’t had problems sleeping for a while. Why now?”

“I don’t. Know. Why the fuck does it matter?” I moved back. “Wait. How do you know?”

“Know what?”

“That it’s been a while since I had trouble sleeping.” I narrowed my eyes at him. “How do you know?”

His expression faltered, a sure sign I caught him off guard. “Alyx told me.”

“Bullshit.”

“You can’t call bullshit, because I already did.”

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