Page 15 of Defiant (American Street Kings 2)

Onyx let out a laugh that sounded more manic than sincere. “God, you’re fucking clueless. Dude, as much as she blames you, she’s blaming herself for what happened to Neon.”

I balked. “What?”

“Yeah.” He raised a brow. “The way Alyx sees it, if it wasn’t for her and this fucking obsession you have with her—”

I shot him a questioning look.

“Oh, yeah,” he tapped his finger against his chest, “I know. In fact, everyone fucking knows that your idea to use Alyx was never just about avenging Dad’s death. Rule number one, big brother—never underestimate your team. It’s insulting.”

I rested my elbows on my knees, rubbing my fists together while avoiding eye contact with Onyx. “None of this is Alyx’s fault. I don’t know why she’d even think that.”

Onyx stepped forward. “Because she has a heart. She sees things differently than we do. We’re a bunch of thick-skinned, hard-assed criminals who learned how to thrive in a cruel world. But Alyx? She’s part of that little bit of good that’s left in the world, Granite. So, when bad shit happens, it poisons her because she’s…Jesus”—he took a breath—“because she’s…pure.”

I regarded my brother, watching his face while he spoke about her. I’d be blind not to see it. “You have feelings for her, don’t you?”

“What?” He froze. “No.”

I got up and straightened. “Cut the bullshit, Onyx. I’ve seen the way you look at her. I’ve seen you going to her room, checking up on her. As you said, we’re thick-skinned, hard-assed criminals. And we don’t go around caring for people out of the goodness of our hearts. You care for Alyx.”

His silence was all the answer I needed. In fact, I didn’t need him to say anything. I knew it was true. I knew it even before the shit hit the fan with Neon and Slither. Onyx cared for her the second he pulled the trigger that night, killing the guy holding a gun to her head. Couldn’t say I blamed him. Alyx had this pull to her, like a magnetic field that was too strong to fight. She was this fragile little thing, yet somehow she was bigger than all of us. Onyx knew it. I knew it. Even Neon knew it.

Onyx bit his lower lip, sucking it into his mouth as if he were trying to stop the words from coming out. Glancing in the other direction, he tucked his hair behind his ears before facing me again. “You’re right. I do care about her, and the man in me hates that she’s hurting because of you.”

Jesus Christ, I couldn’t even open my mouth because I was too busy fighting the urge to knock his motherfucking teeth out. All I could do without losing my shit was flare my nostrils while slowly tearing him apart with a glare.

Onyx smirked, as if he knew I was teetering on the edge of turning savage on my own blood. He wiped his palm down his face. “But don’t worry, brother. I’m not going to let history repeat itself. You know why?”

“Enlighten me,” I gritted out with a clenched jaw.

“Because this time I’m smart enough to realize she belongs to you. And this time I’m man enough to walk away without resenting you for it.”

My anger went from boiling to simmering, slowly turning down the heat searing my veins. Onyx and I had history that spread far from being mere brothers.

We once loved the same girl, and neither of us was willing to let go. It wrecked us both and left scars in our relationship that would probably never go away. But it didn’t destroy the bond we shared—not completely, anyway. Hearing my brother admit he had feelings for Alyx was a hard pill to swallow. But the fact that he would walk away so easily earned him my respect as a brother, and as a man.

I approached him, holding out my hand for a handshake. He eyed me cautiously before placing his hand in mine, pulling us together for a one-armed hug and a pat on the shoulder.

I leaned back. “I appreciate that, brother. But this time,” I swallowed hard, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand, “this time I’m the one who should be man enough to walk away.”

As I tried to turn around, Onyx grabbed my elbow. Instinctively, I glared down at where his fingers curled around my arm, his grip tight. Threatening.

He stepped forward, eyes almost level to mine. “Listen to me, and you better listen good,” he said with a low snarl. “I’ve always walked in your shadow, always stayed one step behind you, letting you do what you thought best even if I disagreed. But not now. Not when it concerns her.” His grip tightened. “You don’t get to walk away, Granite. That girl is your responsibility. You wanted her. Well, now you have her, and you better man up, grow some motherfucking balls, and get over this shitty guilt trip you’re on. Because that girl in there,” he pointed toward the house, “that girl needs you, even if she doesn’t fucking know it yet.” He let go of my arm with a jerk, jaw clenched and eyes determined. “I won’t let you make the same mistake twice by taking the coward’s way out and not doing the right thing.”

Onyx left, walking into the house. If he was any other man, I would have smashed his skull against the goddamn pavement. But he wasn’t just any other man. He was my brother, and no matter how much I wanted to tell him that he’d been spitting bullshit from his mouth the last five minutes, I couldn’t. Because it wasn’t bullshit. Everything he said was the truth, and it knocked me in the chest, radiating right to the black hole where my heart should have been.

Onyx was right…but that didn’t mean I’d listen.

5

Alyx

I stared at the door.Onyx didn’t turn the lock when he left. But unlike the first time they stuck me in a room against my will, I had no desire to open the door and find a way out. What difference would it make whether I was in here or out there? I’d still feel like shit. I’d still be guilt-ridden and rotten. It made no difference where I was. Nothing would change. Besides, if I managed to escape, I’d merely be going from one prison to the next. At home, I’d be confined to the prison my mother created, and she’d hover and smother me like she always did. At least here I was free to wallow in my own despair and sit in a dark pit of my choosing…not hers.

I thought about what Onyx said, that I’d always belong to Granite. Like a possession, athingthat could be kept and locked up. It was ironic, really, because that was exactly what I was. Kept and locked up. But then I thought about my nightmare where I was hanging from a ceiling like a slaughtered pig, just like Neon did. The fear. The horror. The panic. I felt it all as if it was really happening. I was there, I took her place, and it was the most terrifying thing I’d ever experienced. I could practically still feel my back burning from the iron hooks sliced through my skin. And when I closed my eyes, I still saw the grotesque mutilated face of my tormentor. The sound of his voice. It was so vivid, I had to keep reminding myself it was only a nightmare. But then I remembered how I called out for Granite. How I hoped he would save me. The thought of him rescuing me was like a lifeline for me while I hung from those chains. Why would I feel that? Why would I want Granite to save me, or even think he would? He didn’t save Neon. Why would he save me? Still, he was right there in my mind with the part where I had hope for the torture to end. Was I still connected to him in some sordid, twisted way? Was his name still lingering in my heart even after what he did, what he allowed to happen? How was that possible? How could I still feel for him now that I knew what kind of monster he truly was?

My stomach griped. I clutched my arms around my abdomen and hunched over while I sat on the bed. The ache was everywhere as the hunger pangs became stronger. The headache throbbing at my temples and above my eyes was getting worse, and my mouth was dry, like I had swallowed sand.

I glanced at the bottle of water Onyx had left, and the sight alone increased my thirst fourfold. So I reached out, and the sound of the seal breaking as I twisted the cap resonated in the quiet room. I emptied that bottle of water within ten seconds flat. The cold liquid stung my empty stomach but quenched my thirst, and the sandy feeling was gone.

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